Tag Archives: nonsense

Regular Poem: talking at and talking to and just talking to talk

23 Apr

i have a bad habit
of talking at people
rather than to them
a diatribe rather than a dialogue
a performance rather than
a conversation

funny thing
conversation
converse
means something different from
converse
it looks to me that
in the former
the con means against
in the latter
the con means with

i think the verse is the same

but the melody’s different
or maybe the chorus changes

it happens all the time
with and against
talking at or talking to
or talking to talk

she talks at me
every time

i don’t know her boyfriend’s name
he’s only
he and him
because that’s the way
she’s structured the
conversation

she draws me in
in medias res
to any weird thing
that’s happened to her

but the funny thing about a
talk
such as this

is the intimacy

it’s assumed
but then
it’s there
for real

and she calls me
not half an hour later
to reiterate her points and also

to invite me
to talk

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Regular Poem: Details

22 Apr

the devil’s in them
or so i hear

i dislike them myself

that’s not true

i like the details i like

i’m sure it’s the same for everyone
the same sentiment the different details

don’t ask me dates and figures
ask me colors and facial expressions
phrases and where commas go and why

everyone’s precise in their own way and clumsy in others
i suppose
don’t expect me not to spill drinks
or to practice piano
but i can tell you a heck of a lot of
traffic laws

detailing people’s details they enjoy
is another detail i enjoy

but however detail oriented
people claim to be on their resumes

there’s that study you know

you’re looking for number of passes
and miss the gorilla

looking for some details
and missing others that you didn’t know
might pop up

it’s best to be open to possibilities
and not get so caught up telling people seen is the perfect participle of to see and should be used with an auxiliary verb

then you might miss that they’re saying

i seen that gorilla

and anyway
i still don’t want to talk about
the exact date i will
do that thing i’ve been talking about

i indulge you because i know that’s the kind of detail you like

but please
read the room

Regular Poem: Right Tool for the Job

12 Apr

ultimately
it wouldn’t have mattered much
if i’d let her
use the melon baller
instead of the ice cream scoop

whatever implement one uses
the ice cream gets in the bowl
a matter of increments and effort

in the same vein
or maybe it’s an artery in this case
i’ve used the meat tenderizer
instead of the ice pick
and gotten results
similar enough to my goal

it’s the principle
the name recognition

but
sometimes
when i reach a point
of despair
the ice cream carton of myself
empty

i wish i would’ve used the ice cream scoop
the melon baller
over weeks and months and hours and days
just little stupid things
taken out
stresses the proverbial forearm

and then the problem’s this block of ice
and you’re glad you brought the meat tenderizer

Regular Poem: How Does Magic Even Work?

6 Apr

To conjure a thought
some electrical stuff happens
and some lipids do something
and a brain
either remembers or doesn’t.
That’s a magic
someone understands
kind of
although it’s still
pretty magical,
and also that someone
isn’t me.

The human body
is capable of so much,
the human brain truly marvelous
and
magical.

But like witches and stuff on tv
are always conjuring up
a cloak or a turkey dinner or
what have you.

Where does that stuff come from?

Do they create matter?

Or did they effectively steal that
turkey dinner or what have you?
Or did they steal the component parts from somewhere
and mash them together via magic?
Like they took all these
atoms and chemicals from like
some dirt from Mount Rushmore
and bound it all together magically and instantly
into a turkey dinner?

And what’s the magic that happens
when you think about a person
you haven’t seen in weeks
and then he shows up right in front of your face?

And how does it happen
that he says the exact things
that make you want to cry in his arms?

I ought to read more,
figure out the prevailing theories.

But sometimes
I just like the questions
better than the answers.

Regular Poem: Memo

20 Mar

To: You, a Person I Hardly Know Yet Delight in

From: Me, a Person Who Is Bad at Things

CC: The Part of My Brain That Weighs the Costs and Benefits of Social Interactions and Analyzes Hasty Decisions about Same Later When the Exciting but Stupifying Rush of Having a Stimulating Conversation Has Dissipated

Re: You and Me

Compose Email

Good evening,

This
is just a word of caution and apology
to inform you–
perhaps I’m
calling your attention to this for the first time
or perhaps I’m
verbalizing
something you’ve secretly suspected–

that I bribe myself

with people,

and you are

one of the unfortunate few
my attentions
have tripped over and subsequently
fallen on top of.

(I sincerely hope
my attentions’ knee hasn’t connected with
your windpipe in the
ungraceful process.)

Don’t be alarmed
if
when
I bound toward you,
propelled bodily
by my rather frighteningly
powerful urge to say things to you
and have you
say things to me.

I will be unable to stop
the momentum this energy source
provides
as it is
an unstable energy,
one spark away
from catastrophe.

Fission is funny
that way.

We collide,
and I split,
and part of me is
carrying on with you–
probably idiotically, mimicking
genuine
human discourse in a verisimilitude
just a hair’s breadth
(a proton’s mass)
away from
your thinking me either an advanced robot
or
crazy person–

and part of me
is just burning
or collapsing
or dividing further
into parts that might
reanalyze this interaction
at 2am
until I fantasize about places
to wear my tuxedo
enough to go back to sleep.

In summary,
I was weird with you,
I am weird with you,
I will be weird with you,

but

know that
I know that

and that
I would certainly
change that
if I had the chemical, physical,
metaphysical
capacity
to do so
instead of just
being weird
and wishing later I hadn’t.

Thanks in advance,
Me

Regular Poem: Sassy Shoulders

17 Apr

it didn’t make sense to me
until it did
one day i looked in the mirror
like weeks later
and i was like
yeah
those girls were right

it’s not like
nobody’s ever seen them before
work cycles through phases
just like my dreams
unlike the moon
because the moon makes sense

but still distinct phases
with discernible beginning and ending points
several weeks i’ll dream about
winning large jackpots
but i’m not excited
just worried
about how much tax will be taken out
and the next several weeks will be
that recurring cabin in the woods
where there’s always a different large dinner party
several weeks
the kids at work all want to pull my hair
the next several weeks
i get my shirt ripped off over and over

so it’s not
as if they’d never seen
my shoulders before

but sometimes
they are just
strikingly
more sassy
i guess

it’s nonsense
but
i’ll take it

Regular Poem: Just How Many Garages Does a Girl Need?

4 Feb

well you see
the one is attached to the house
and it’s a two-car number
packed with ancient mechanical devices
and tools and dead appliances
weird old-timey chemicals
a bag of birdfeed from that time i had a cockatiel for a few months
home to a heavy bag
and a crummy radio leftover from a former roommate
a vindictive former housecat

and the other
is detached
also two-car
but much larger
to accommodate an RV
that it no longer accommodates
but don’t worry
there’s plenty in there
still
extra tables and chairs
file cabinets and abandoned projects
three badminton sets two bicycles two hammocks
shelves and shelves and boxes and boxes
a metal detector
a cabinet record player that doesn’t play records but collects dust and plays am radio just fine
oh and also two cars

and of course a shed
a yard isn’t
a yard
without a shed
with at least three defunct mowers
and some antique cedar mulch

my concern is
how many cats
and other creatures
have taken up residence
in the detached garage
since my ex-cat escaped
the attached garage
and darted around my property for a few days
and showed her face in the detached garage long enough
for me to take pity on her
and move her food and water dishes out there
only for her to
zip in the back door of my house
as if she owned the place
and demand food at her spot
on top of the dryer
which is close enough to
the attached garage
for me to have thrown her back in
the attached garage
knowing she probably wouldn’t escape again
because she was probably already pregnant
enough to satisfy her?

i ought to move that cat food
i ought to
do a lot of things

raze it
salt the earth
change my name
skip town

“why yes
miss doe
this houseboat comes fully furnished
with third-hand furniture in dark neutral colors
the record player doesn’t play records
but it picks up am radio swell
and a houseboat isn’t
a houseboat
without wood paneling”

i unclench my fists and look
at my real estate agent
in my new town
and the words slip out

“but what about the garage situation”

she checks her clipboard

“could i interest you
in a storage unit”

i should’ve
practiced but i didn’t
so i say
on instict

“like a fresh one
with nobody else’s stuff
in it already”

she sees
my accidental sneer of
disbelief

“that’s the idea
miss doe”

deal breaker
or
deal maker
i can’t discern

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