Regular Poem: I Met Her Accidentally in St. Paul, Minnesota

10 Apr

what’s so great about tallahassee
every tv show has an episode named after it
as far as neat state capital names go
it’s good
probably top five honestly
but still
doesn’t really compare to a lot of really great non-state capitals
it might be one of those things where it’s become just a
thing that everybody does
some running joke
like taking a left turn at albuquerque
but albuquerque is a better name
it’s understandable

no city name is at its peak comedy for me without the state with it though
so therefore
anything in oklahoma gets a leg up in my book
i also love a dakota
it’s about the k in the middle
which is the same appeal as albuquerque
i think alaska’s k comes too late
but if you put it with another k
fairbanks alaska
nah i was wrong
that’s stately rather than good running-joke material
contrast that with say
ponca city oklahoma
sioux falls south dakota
pine bluff arkansas
boxborough masachusetts

my exception to the
with-the-state
rule
is if it’s an unincorporated area
because then you’re obligated to say unincoporated
and that’s funny in itself
so anything you put in front of it is just icing
of course some are better than others
smileyberg unincorporated
is the gold standard
obviously

parrishes and townships serve a similar function
but only on a case by case basis
they can be classed up too much by what precedes them
to get the carte blanche
that unincorporated does

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