Regular Poem: State Slogans

12 Apr

you’ve got your
big sky country
and your
last frontier
and your
lone star state
mile high state
garden state
natural state
and your
ok so far so good

but let me lay this one on you
what state would you associate with
as big as you think

came across this one on an online quiz
got immediately offended
and looked it up
it’s as much real as it is nonsense

as you might’ve guessed
it’s kansas

what’s it supposed to mean
who actively thinks about how big kansas is
it’s only the thirteenth largest state by area
a respectable showing but nothing to write a tourism slogan about

and most importantly
is it supposed to be as dirty as it sounds
i keep just saying it over and over to myself
in a lauren bacall voice
surely that’s the only way to say it

we don’t have a great track record in this area
the one before this was
the land of ahs

i get the wordplay
but come on
that is also dirty
could’ve and honestly should’ve gone with the awe spelling

who’s in charge of this stuff
and do they run it by anyone
with half a brain
before they print it on billboards

i’m embarrassed
but i’m even more embarrassed
that i kind of dig it

One Response to “Regular Poem: State Slogans”

  1. Silver Screenings 15 April 2020 at 7:53 PM #

    The Lauren Bacall voice is indeed the only way.

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