Damages Season 3 Recap (All Spoilers, All the Time)

16 Mar

Oh hey, Season 3.  Haven’t thought about you in a while.  And I want to start season 4 now, so…

Best outfit all season

The format of my synopses has changed. The fabulosity of Patty’s clothes has absolutely not changed.

Flashforward Mystery #1:  Patty is driving.  Some other car runs into her!  Whodunnit?

Flashforward Mystery #2:  Mysterious Hobo hangs around a dumpster.  Tom’s murdered body is found in the same dumpster!  Whodunnit?

Main Plot Line:  Patty is the court-appointed trustee of the Tobin estate.  The Tobins are big business people involved in some kind of Ponzi scheme thing, as per usual.  She must figure out how and where and when all their money went wherever it did.

Joe Tobin, alcoholic oldest son, becomes Patty’s go-to dude for a minute, but mostly to establish him as a down-to-earth character at first.  He wants to make sure he looks as if he did everything he could to help the investigation (which also includes the DA’s office, where Ellen works now).

Joe gives Patty a cell phone number, and Hobo is in possession of the cell phone.  Tom investigates and finds clothes in the dumpster belonging to a DMM.  He investigates more.  Everyone is red-herringed into believing DMM–a lady who looks SO MUCH like Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds–was having an affair with Dad Tobin (the CEO of the Tobin company), and Tom decides to investigate this angle because why not.

Meanwhile, Dad Tobin tells Joe that the family has money hidden somewhere.  And now it’s the classic Help Patty Hewes vs. Help Your Own Family Even though They’re Shady situation.

Then Dad Tobin kills himself and leaves a scavenger hunt for Joe and Martin Short to find the money by working with Dad Tobin’s favorite gangster, Zedeck.

Just when Tom and Patty have DMM where they can pump her for information,  there’s also a Crazy Sister in the Tobin family who kills DMM for…? Some reason.  Mostly because she’s nuts (and also my favorite character of the season, even though she disappears midway through).

Meanwhile, Tom finds out he has no money because his assets were all tied up with the Tobin company accidentally.  Enter Desperate Tom (who is kinda sexy).

Meanwhile, Martin Short doesn’t actually have a law degree.  He stole a dude’s identity a long time ago and has been playing the part ever since.  IRL, he’s a white trash, low-level hustler who used to hustle with his dad, and his dad to uses this to blackmail him.

Tom investigates further and finds the money in Antigua because DMM’s daughter is a flight attendant with dual citizenship, and she’s been moving the money in and out of the country–maybe unwittingly, maybe not.

Meanwhile, Joe is spiraling out of control:  He had had an affair with DMM a long time ago and went to see her about Dad Tobin and accidentally ran over her with his car and called Martin Short in to fix it.  He’s losing his wife and son because of his alcoholism and distancing himself and stuff.  He’s becoming more and more desperate to find the money that Dad promised was around.

Lily Tomlin convinces Joe that TM needs to be taken out because TM is talking to Patty.  So Joe kills TM.

Dad Martin Short reveals Martin Short’s dirty secret to Joe, and Joe’s super pissed.

Tom and Martin Short cut a deal to get the money to Patty so that all will be well with the world.

Finally, it’s revealed that TM was actually Joe’s daughter with DMM (bum bum bum!), and Lily Tomlin, Dad Tobin, and Martin Short all knew about it, but Joe didn’t.  When he figures out he ordered a hit on his own daughter, he’s SUPER PISSED.

The spit hits the fan when Tom and Martin Short try to put their plan into action, and Zedeck’s henchman tries to kill errbody but doesn’t succeed.  Joe ends up offing Tom himself (by drowning him in a toilet).

Joe’s then arrested and confesses.

Oh yeah, and Lily Tomlin throws herself off a bridge (a little water clears us of this deed?).

Side Plot I Didn’t Care about:  Frobisher writes an autobiography, and some movie people want to turn it into a movie.  UGH.

"Uh... Yeah.  She's really human... and stuff..."

My sentiments exactly, Lame Movie People.

Ellen Family Drama Plot Line(s):  Ellen’s sister is a meth addict, apparently, and she gets caught selling.  Ellen is conflicted about helping her and then doesn’t because her sister sucks.  Also, Ellen thinks she’s adopted for a minute, but really, she stayed with a lady for a while as a kid while her dad was beating her mom or something.

Also, Dreamy Wes appears for a few minutes, and he and Frobisher get arrested for all the shenanigans they were up to in seasons 1 and 2 including but not limited to killing Beardy and David, respectively.

Patty Family Drama Plot Line(s):  Remember Hippie Cougar?  She’s pregnant.  Patty tries to get her to leave town by blackmailing her (she was declared an unfit mama in Colorado or somewhere), and when that doesn’t work, she tries to buy her off.  But Hippie Cougar just uses the money to buy Michael a car that is WAY too expensive.  So, Patty has Hippie Cougar arrested for statutory rape, and Michael gets pissed and runs into Patty’s car.’

Also, Patty’s having a lot of hallucinations of a dude she met the day she was supposed to be on bed rest but instead walked a ridiculous amount so that she would “accidentally” miscarry her daughter so she wouldn’t have to stay in her small hometown with her true love so that she could go be a big-city lawyer.

Ellen.  Is your blouse actually a silk bib?

The relationship between Patty and Ellen has changed.  The awfulness of Ellen’s clothes has absolutely not changed.

Patty/Ellen Drama Plot Line:  Patty fixes it up so Ellen can win some cases at the DA’s office and then buys her a WAY too expensive purse.  Ellen calls Patty when she’s bored with her family.  Ellen bakes Patty cupcakes for her birthday.  Patty hires a girl to replace Ellen and then tells the girl to go talk to Ellen about pointers and such to make Ellen jealous.  Ellen has her reporter boyfriend write a story about the new girl to make Patty mad.  Ellen takes the fall for Tom when he disobeys Patty’s orders, and Patty decimates Ellen, and they both sob about it.  Patty realizes Ellen didn’t actually do the thing she confessed to, and Patty has her over for dinner, and Ellen encourages Patty to keep pursuing the Tobins.  They hang out together after Tom’s funeral, and Ellen asks Patty for advice.  They stare at each other for a long time and then part company.

Resolution:  Joe Tobin murdered Tom.  Michael ran into Patty’s car.  Martin Short got away with the Tobin money.  Patty sacrificed her child for her career a million ago and may or may not feel guilty about it still.  The Frobisher thing is officially over (knock on wood).  Patty and Ellen are not officially back together.

For more details and pictures please see the full-episode recaps.

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