Tag Archives: Xena Damages

OUaT 2.9 Recap: When the Joker Ain’t the Only Fool Who’ll Do Anything for You

8 Feb

Episode 9: Playin’ with the Queen of Hearts

Fairytale Flashback:  Hook decimates some Queen’s guards.  He saves Belle from the queen’s prison.  Hook wants to know about the weapon to kill Gold.  He pimp slaps her and says,  “So pretty, so useless.”  Now that’s just mean.

Regina comes in and saves Belle from imminent death.  Is this Dynasty?!  WTF is this fabulous outfit!?

…Yes. Give me more of this.

She knows all about Hook and how he wants to kill Gold.  She explains that Belle can’t help him but she can, if he does something for her.  She tells him about the curse she’s about to do, after which Hook won’t need magic to kill Gold.  She explains that she wants to take out a hit on her mom so that Cora won’t follow her into curseland.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.8 Recap: When There’s a Fire Starting in Sleeping Beauty’s Dreams

20 Jan

Episode 8:  Rolling in the Into the Deep

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  Hook finally gets out of the beanstalk, and Cora’s there wanting the compass.  She says she feels betrayed.  Hook says he’ll get the compass back, and they’ll go together.  She says she will complete the journey without him, and he tries to seduce her back into it.  She says:

You’ve had your chance.  Now it’s my turn to do this… the right way.

Finally!  Some BAMF lady magic!

So she can summon all the zombies with 1 heart?! I wouldn’t suggest messing around with her…

Cora goes to a secret heart chamber and gets a heart out.  She makes all the dudes she killed in the camp a couple episodes ago rise.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.7 Recap: When Wolves… And Wolves

19 Jan

Episode 7: Child of the Moon

Dwarves find fairy dust in the mine.  And by fairy dust they mean diamonds…?  Blue Fairy directs Charming to lock away The Hat because they’re gonna grind that stuff up, so he better keep the hat out of the wrong hands.  Chekhov’s Magic Hat?

“Thanks for saving me from that dude. I’m on my wolf period.”

At Granny’s, a dude flirts with Red, but she isn’t in the mood, and Belle saves her from it.  Red says it’s complicated and looks at the clock ominously.

Charming and Henry talk about Henry’s nightmares (which he’s sharing with Sleeping Beauty).

King Dad Attorney comes to “congratulate” Charming on finding the fairy dust, but really he’s gonna try to run the town in an ominous fashion.  Where’s Regina to run the town?!  Girl, if you’re not in this episode, I’m boycotting this show.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.6 Recap: When They Forgot More Than We’ll Ever Know about Emma Swan

18 Jan

Episode 6:  Tallahassee

Previously on Xena Damages:  That hipster from 2.1!

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  The OUaT Spice Girls and Hook are at the beanstalk, and Hook gives us some exposition:  Evil giants grew magic beans to plunder stuff and subsequently destroyed all the beans.  Hook again promises loyalty “to whomever gets me there first.”  Don’t you mean whoever?

He’s also got a spell thing to get up the stalk (which you can’t climb without a spell of some kind for some reason).  He has two of them because he ain’t goin’ up there alone.

Pictured L-R: The Nastiest Dude Ever; Someone Who Is Supposedly 17

Portland, 11 years ago:  Hipster Baby Emma approaches the yellow VW she currently owns and breaks into it and steals it.  That other hipster is in the back seat, except 11 years ago he wasn’t a hipster: he was a nasty-looking dude 11 years ago.  He’s totally cool with the fact that she just stole his car.  She runs a stop sign, and he gets her out of the ticket because he had actually also stolen the car.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.5 Recap: When Regina Returns from a Multi-Episode Blackhole, and Boy, Are Her Arms Tired

9 Jan

Episode 5:  The Doctor

OUaT Spice Girls

The OUaT Spice Girls! Saving the Kingdom with Girl Power! Pictured L-R: Baby, Sporty, Posh, Ginger. Not Pictured: Scary (cuz she’s back in ME trying to reform)

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  The OUaT Spice Girls (-Scary, of course) are trekking around, and they find errbody dead at their camp site.  Hearts are ripped out, so it wasn’t ogres.  Oh no, it was Cora!  Hook is there still alive, pretending not to be Hook.  Cora Plant!

Back in ME, Charming punches Dr. Whale for sleeping with his wife.  K.  Why not just punch him because he’s a d-bag?  Meanwhile, Dr. Whale is asking a helluva lot of questions about how to get back to fairy tale land.

Elsewhere in ME, Regina goes to Jiminy Cricket for magic rehab.  She’s teary-eyed talking about her magic addiction, and I’ve missed her so.  Jiminy Cricket comments that it’s harder to stop magic than to start it.  Ain’t that the truth!

Whale waltzes into Regina’s private counseling session (doesn’t this doctor know anything about HIPAA?) wanting Regina to send him back to his land to see his dead brother.  Bum bum bum!

They get rid of Whale, and Jiminy Cricket questions Regina about how she claims she can’t send anybody back anywhere.  He doesn’t believe her, but she says she doesn’t have a lot of control over that.  She also says this pouty thing that I loled about:

I don’t care about Whale or his brother.  I brought who I wanted.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.3 Recap: When Lancelot Shows Up for Approximately 16 Lame Seconds

23 Oct

Episode 3: Lady of the Lake

Do we need to talk about how much I love Snow White’s outfit and sass, or do they speak for themselves?

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Red runs to a tent meeting over which Charming presides, the subject of which being taking back the kingdom from his (kinda) dad.  Red announces that King George’s new general is like a leviathan.  All the king’s men arrive, and the good guys all go their separate ways to do stuff, vowing to meet at Mama Charming’s house, and Black Lancelot catches Snow White.  He’s the new general, and Snow White is flabbergasted that a member of the Round Table would stoop to working as a hired gun.

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Snow White’s still unconscious in the pit, and Cora’s taking care of her while she chats with Emma about this corner of the land being a haven.  She laments being trapped here because of what Regina did and claims the “apple fell far from the tree.”  Emma buys it and talks about going back to Henry.

Snow White wakes up and immediately begins protecting Emma from Cora and trying to tell her not to trust her.  Emma balks at this.  She obviously don’t know nothin’ ’bout Fairy Tale Land.  A rope descends, and Emma and Snow White are called to an audience with the leader.

Continue reading

OUaT 2.2 Recap: When the Evil Queen Decides to Stop Being Evil (Maybe)

11 Oct

Episode 2: We Are Both

The real mystery: Which one of the dwarves drives an El Camino?

We open with the seven dwarves investigating the boundary of Storybrooke.  They send Sneezy out across the line, and he gets caught in a blue beam of magic and subsequently convulses within the blue beam.

In the townsquare(ish) Red is organizing clean-up efforts and other support for the aftermath of the Soul Sucker tornado thing as well as the general fall out of having been under an amnesia curse for 28 years.

Continue reading

Once Upon a Time Season 1 Recap (All Spoilers, All the Time)

10 Oct

As I’ve noted previously, I often devour TV shows.  My latest has been Once Upon a Time so I can watch season 2 as it comes out.  I thought I might do some recaps of it, just for kicks.

First, let’s talk about how I (and all the girls I watch it with) call this show Xena Damages.

Because this show is all about badass ladies doing badass things in a badass, fantastical world filled with magic, overacting, and oddly poor CGI (à la Xena), but it is also about non-linear storytelling and an HBIC who wears delicious skirt suits, ruthlessly orchestrates people’s destructions, and rips people’s hearts out (à la Damages).

Continue reading

Book 'Em, Jan O

Ghosts, Tall Tales & Witty Haiku!

grapeling

it could be that

Only Fragments

Love Letters to the Tar Pit

Life in a blog

All there is ever, is the now

Heartspring Stanley

A Heartspring Student Project

The League of Mental Men!

A Satirical Word In Your Shell-Like Ear

Deanna-Cian's Blog

An English student who stalks Benedict Cumberbatch. If I'm not pressed against cake shop windows then I'm rambling on about the press.

Fangirl Therapy

All the Feels & How to Deal

Live to Write - Write to Live

We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

Whispers Unto the Aether

Books | Narratives | Medicine

iheartingrid

For the Love of Leading Ladies

Collective Thoughts Of My Journey

The liberation of my life, mind, and imagination that is no longer the part of the Collective..

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

Pitter Potter Mad Gardener

Sow, Love and Nurture