OUaT 2.5 Recap: When Regina Returns from a Multi-Episode Blackhole, and Boy, Are Her Arms Tired

Episode 5:  The Doctor

The OUaT Spice Girls! Saving the Kingdom with Girl Power! Pictured L-R: Baby, Sporty, Posh, Ginger. Not Pictured: Scary (cuz she’s back in ME trying to reform)

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  The OUaT Spice Girls (-Scary, of course) are trekking around, and they find errbody dead at their camp site.  Hearts are ripped out, so it wasn’t ogres.  Oh no, it was Cora!  Hook is there still alive, pretending not to be Hook.  Cora Plant!

Back in ME, Charming punches Dr. Whale for sleeping with his wife.  K.  Why not just punch him because he’s a d-bag?  Meanwhile, Dr. Whale is asking a helluva lot of questions about how to get back to fairy tale land.

Elsewhere in ME, Regina goes to Jiminy Cricket for magic rehab.  She’s teary-eyed talking about her magic addiction, and I’ve missed her so.  Jiminy Cricket comments that it’s harder to stop magic than to start it.  Ain’t that the truth!

Whale waltzes into Regina’s private counseling session (doesn’t this doctor know anything about HIPAA?) wanting Regina to send him back to his land to see his dead brother.  Bum bum bum!

They get rid of Whale, and Jiminy Cricket questions Regina about how she claims she can’t send anybody back anywhere.  He doesn’t believe her, but she says she doesn’t have a lot of control over that.  She also says this pouty thing that I loled about:

I don’t care about Whale or his brother.  I brought who I wanted.

OUaT 2.2 Recap: When the Evil Queen Decides to Stop Being Evil (Maybe)

Episode 2: We Are Both

The real mystery: Which one of the dwarves drives an El Camino?

We open with the seven dwarves investigating the boundary of Storybrooke.  They send Sneezy out across the line, and he gets caught in a blue beam of magic and subsequently convulses within the blue beam.

In the townsquare(ish) Red is organizing clean-up efforts and other support for the aftermath of the Soul Sucker tornado thing as well as the general fall out of having been under an amnesia curse for 28 years.

OUaT 2.1 Recap: When Seriously Silly Soul Suckers Suck Souls Slickly

Episode 1: Broken

We open with a character we don’t know or care about who goes about his hipster business  in modern-day New York.  A post card from Storybrooke, ME, appears in his window with one word scrawled on the back: Broken.

You guys are going to be SO SURPRISED about who this is.

We next go to some more characters we don’t know or care about in Fairy Tale Land: A prince or something cuts through some brier to get to a sleeping beauty, whom he wakes with a kiss–although the ensuing magical wave does not compare to the one that rolled off Snow White when Charming revived her.  Following on his heels is an Asian warrior with a face covering so that we don’t know it’s Mulan yet, but we all have seen the Internet, so we all know it’s Mulan.

Back in ME, a drawn-out reunion scene occurs among the townspeople as they all realize how they’re related and love each other, etc.  This goes on for what seems like a long time, with Prince Charming and Snow White embracing a lot and embracing Emma and embracing Henry.  Then they get to the inevitable discussion:  What to do with The Evil Queen.  A bunch of townspeople want to kill her (can’t blame them).  They debate this for a while; then Henry doesn’t want that to happen because “she’s still my mom.”  What he means by this, of course, is that she’s still the best character in the show, and nobody would watch it if they killed her off.  Charming gives the best reason to stop the townspeople from storming her door (other than her being the best character): She might use magic to kill everybody.

Once Upon a Time Season 1 Recap (All Spoilers, All the Time)

As I’ve noted previously, I often devour TV shows.  My latest has been Once Upon a Time so I can watch season 2 as it comes out.  I thought I might do some recaps of it, just for kicks.

First, let’s talk about how I (and all the girls I watch it with) call this show Xena Damages.

Because this show is all about badass ladies doing badass things in a badass, fantastical world filled with magic, overacting, and oddly poor CGI (à la Xena), but it is also about non-linear storytelling and an HBIC who wears delicious skirt suits, ruthlessly orchestrates people’s destructions, and rips people’s hearts out (à la Damages).