Tag Archives: Roommate Tish

#cylonprobz: A Flowchart

14 Jun

So, I get on kicks.  Right now I’m on a flowchart kick.  I was talking to Tish about it, and this conversation happened:

Me:  What should I make my next flowchart about?
Tish:  Have you washed the towels?
Me:  No.
Tish:  Maybe you should make a flowchart about that.
Me:  Nah.  But really…
Tish:  I don’t know.  Make one for me.

And so the wheels in my brain turned, and I made this Battlestar Galactica number.  It turned out slightly nerdier than I had intended because I had wanted it to be mostly country song lyrics to make Tish laugh.  Oh well.  When you got cylonprobz, you got cylonprobz.

Finding Your Sci-Fi Fit: A Flowchart

12 Jun

As I watched BSG yesterday and one roommate was taking a nap and the other was at work but would have been napping if she’d been home, I realized anew how intense/dense BSG is and how it’s not for everybody and how it’s not even for me all the time.

So I created this handy flowchart to help pick out the sci-fi TV show that’s right for you.

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Top 5 Quotations from My Roommates Regarding My Sci-Fi Kick

26 Mar

So, I get on kicks all the time.  Recently, I’ve been on a sci-fi kick consisting of alternating between Star Trek: Voyager and Battlestar Galactica, and my roommates—of which there are two, who are also my best friends whom I’ve known for 4+ years and have lived with since our days in the sorority house—find this new fad of mine disconcerting and rather ridiculous.  I’ve assembled my five favorite interactions with my roomies about this topic, and these favorites are presented below in ascending order, accompanied by a little background information about each exchange.

#5:
Tish and I are talking about what we’re going to do later.

Me:  I can’t wait until I watch BSG and you pre-sleep on the couch.
Tish:  Every time you say BSG, I always think you’re going to say BFD.

#4:
I’ve just finished eating a piece of bread I’ve been heartily dipping in spicy Italian oil, and a small pool of it remains on the plate.

Tish:  Now lick your plate clean. I dare you.
Me:  No thank you.
Tish:  I double-dog dare you.  I triple-dog dare you.  I Cylon-Battlestar-Galactica-Captain-Janeway dare you.

#3:
Tish shows me her new hairdryer—a pink, technological wonder with a lot of buttons and a bizarre-looking diffuser attachment.

Me:  Whoa, that looks like an alien.
Tish:  It’s the Alien-Opsis 4000, Starlight.
Me:  Starlight?  What is that, my new scif-fi name?
Tish:  Yes.

#2:
We’re in the middle of a particularly ‘90s Voyager when I look over at a sneering, flabbergasted Grace.

Grace:  Star Trek: Voyager is like a fanny pack made into a story.

#1:
Because Tish always falls asleep on the couch (we call it pre-sleep because it happens right before bedtime) as I’m watching Battlestar Galactica, I give her recaps as we do cardio at the gym.  I’m in the middle of one and have just finished a part about how the Cylons can look like people and some are even in intimate relationships with humans.

Tish (singing):  Tryin’ to love two Cylons is like a ball and chain!

Damages 3.13 Recap, Part 2: Finale Ultima

11 Mar

Episode 13:  The Next One’s Gonna Go in Your Throat, cont.
When is season 4 out on Netflix?!

"Yeah, Patty changed her mind because that's something Patty does easily and often, especially about stuff that involves the safety of her two BFFs."

Tom and Ellen meet on the street (outside Ellen’s house?).  She’s realized her bag is gone, and she’s going to file a report about it.  Tom says he talked to Patty, who has reconsidered and now wants Tom to go through with the deal.  Whoa.  I do not believe that.  Does Ellen believe that for real, or does she want to do it as badly as Tom does?  Ooh!  I understand why that flashforward of Patty crying, “I told you to stop!” happened!!!!!  That screaming is either to Tom or Ellen, not some hired hitman killing Tom!!!!

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Damages 3.12 Recap: When Season 1’s Bearded Chickens Come Home to Roost, and Tom Is Dreamy Again Instead of Being a Big Wuss

6 Mar

Episode 12:  You Were His Little Monkey

Patty falls asleep in her office chair.  In her dream, Patty’s looking through a hole in a wall to see that horse again, except this time he’s appropriately in an outdoor pen.

Back in real life, Judge has looked over the brief about TM and the charity/Antigua money laundering and has decided to let them continue with the case.   And there are so many stripes in this scene. Patty and Tom are each wearing two different stripes, and the Judge is wearing three different stripes.  Whoa, costume designers!

“Is this an inflated y-axis?”

However, Judge wants to talk to Patty alone about Tom’s financial situation (because he’s recently found out about it).  Patty seems surprised and concerned.

In Patty’s office, Patty grills Tom about why he didn’t tell her sooner and ends the scene by telling him, “You know what you need to do.”  My roommate says, “Kill yourself.”

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Damages 3.11 Recap, Part 1: When Patty Totally Breaks Up with Ellen

1 Mar

Episode 11:  All That Crap about Your Family
I have the feeling this post will run long because of all the necessary pictures of broken-hearted Ellen, so this will be the first post of two. 

Ellen arrives at Ann Connell’s cozy suburban home and exchanges awkward pleasantries.

Tom rushes into Patty’s office to inform her that Gates has arrested TM, and they wonder how he knew to do that just at that moment.  Or do they wonder?!

TM, meanwhile, wants to know why she’s under arrest.  Well, her boyfriend is here illegally from Antigua, and housing an illegal alien is illegal!  She wants Patty to be her lawyer.  Duh.

That’s just what Gates wanted all along, and he and Nondescript DA Guy pat each other on the back about arresting her and figuring out Ellen’s allegiance.  When Nondescript DA Guy asks if he’ll fire Ellen, Gates tells him to send Ellen to his office “when she gets back from wherever the hell she is.”

Ellen’s now sitting on Ann Connell’s Maiden Aunt Furniture.  If I grow up to be a Maiden Aunt, someone slap me out of buying overstuffed floral anything.  Those are the absolute worst.

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Damages 3.10 Recap: When Ellen Starts Having Weird Dreams, Too

29 Feb

Episode 3.10:  “Tell Me I’m Not Racist”

Ellen’s bringing flowers to Patty’s house again?  Is there a non-dinner party I don’t know about?  Oh, weird lighting and weird baby music in the background, so Ellen must be having weird dreams now, too!  So, Ellen’s carrying these yellow flowers into Patty’s, and she keeps calling out for Patty as she looks around the seemingly empty apartment, but when she gets to the kitchen, there’s a brunette we’ve never seen before making supper, and she’s talking to Ellen as though Ellen is a kid.

“Wanna stir the blood-esque sauce, little one?”

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Damages 3.9 Recap: When Patty Hewes Is So Very Patty Hewes

17 Feb

Episode 9:  “Drive It through Hardcore”

Previously on:  Ellen’s sister’s back, and you’re gonna be in trouble!  Hey nah!  Hey nah! Ellen’s sister’s back!

2 months later:  Tom walks into Patty’s office and tenders his resignation.  He’s doing that Tom-clenching-his-jaw face that I’m kind of in love with.  She gives him an ambiguous look as he walks away.

Does this face say "Baldie, I might need you to kill Tom" or "Best of luck, Tom. I cherish the time we had together, and I will miss you terribly"?

2 months earlier:  Martin Short walks into the apartment where apparently he and Crazy Sister are roomies.  She’s dejectedly watching Wheel of Fortune (Is there any other way to watch Wheel of Fortune?), and he’s concerned about her being crazy, yet he needs her to be in hiding until Ellen quits sticking her nose in everybody’s business.  He suggests she see her shrink, and she says, “You know my brother doesn’t want me to do that.”  He says he’ll talk to Joe about it.

Martin Short leaves, and it’s revealed he’s got somebody watching the place (This guy has SO many PIs all the time!).  Patty’s got Baldie watching the place, as well (Patty has only one PI at a time).

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Damages 3.5 Recap: When It’s Not Patty’s Birthday, and Ellen Doesn’t Bake Cupcakes for Patty’s Nonbirthday and also Doesn’t Care about the New Associate Patty’s Not Hiring Just to Not Get under Ellen’s Skin

4 Feb

Episode 5:  “It’s Not My Birthday”Previously on:  That reporter from Appalachia?

Patty’s running late and talking on the phone.  She’s back in better clothes—those big collars on her shirts and all.  But why black?  I want that checked gray blazer back!

Patty turns a corner to see the ghost of Uncle Pete!

Wait.  Dream Pete?  He’s there for her birthday and has brought a present.  “It’s not my birthday,” says Patty.  Patty turns and there’s a horse in her house!

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