Tag Archives: Pirates be pirating

OUaT 2.9 Recap: When the Joker Ain’t the Only Fool Who’ll Do Anything for You

8 Feb

Episode 9: Playin’ with the Queen of Hearts

Fairytale Flashback:  Hook decimates some Queen’s guards.  He saves Belle from the queen’s prison.  Hook wants to know about the weapon to kill Gold.  He pimp slaps her and says,  “So pretty, so useless.”  Now that’s just mean.

Regina comes in and saves Belle from imminent death.  Is this Dynasty?!  WTF is this fabulous outfit!?

…Yes. Give me more of this.

She knows all about Hook and how he wants to kill Gold.  She explains that Belle can’t help him but she can, if he does something for her.  She tells him about the curse she’s about to do, after which Hook won’t need magic to kill Gold.  She explains that she wants to take out a hit on her mom so that Cora won’t follow her into curseland.

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OUaT 2.8 Recap: When There’s a Fire Starting in Sleeping Beauty’s Dreams

20 Jan

Episode 8:  Rolling in the Into the Deep

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  Hook finally gets out of the beanstalk, and Cora’s there wanting the compass.  She says she feels betrayed.  Hook says he’ll get the compass back, and they’ll go together.  She says she will complete the journey without him, and he tries to seduce her back into it.  She says:

You’ve had your chance.  Now it’s my turn to do this… the right way.

Finally!  Some BAMF lady magic!

So she can summon all the zombies with 1 heart?! I wouldn’t suggest messing around with her…

Cora goes to a secret heart chamber and gets a heart out.  She makes all the dudes she killed in the camp a couple episodes ago rise.

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OUaT 2.6 Recap: When They Forgot More Than We’ll Ever Know about Emma Swan

18 Jan

Episode 6:  Tallahassee

Previously on Xena Damages:  That hipster from 2.1!

Present-Day Fairy Tale Land:  The OUaT Spice Girls and Hook are at the beanstalk, and Hook gives us some exposition:  Evil giants grew magic beans to plunder stuff and subsequently destroyed all the beans.  Hook again promises loyalty “to whomever gets me there first.”  Don’t you mean whoever?

He’s also got a spell thing to get up the stalk (which you can’t climb without a spell of some kind for some reason).  He has two of them because he ain’t goin’ up there alone.

Pictured L-R: The Nastiest Dude Ever; Someone Who Is Supposedly 17

Portland, 11 years ago:  Hipster Baby Emma approaches the yellow VW she currently owns and breaks into it and steals it.  That other hipster is in the back seat, except 11 years ago he wasn’t a hipster: he was a nasty-looking dude 11 years ago.  He’s totally cool with the fact that she just stole his car.  She runs a stop sign, and he gets her out of the ticket because he had actually also stolen the car.

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OUaT 2.4 Recap: When Rumplestiltskin Jumps on the Non-Evil Bandwagon Maybe

28 Oct

Episode 4: The Crocodile

He liked it, so he put an over-the-top necklace on it.

Rumplestiltskin drapes a big ol’ diamond necklace around Belle’s neck.  Grumpy bursts in demanding his ax back, and Rumplestilstskin (Oh man, I’m gonna get tired of typing that one.  Let’s call him Gold instead.) doesn’t appreciate the intrusion and postehaste chokeholds Grumpy against the wall.

Don’t worry:  It was a dream.

Belle wakes up and sets to spying on Gold spinning gold and making a potion in his basement.

Flashback Pre-Zoso:  Baelfire comes into the Rumplestiltskin hovel and asks where his mom is.  Gold doesn’t know, so he goes out to find.  We find Mrs. Gold in a bar, livin’ it up.  Gold looks like a kicked puppy as he asks her to come home.  She’s belligerent, and the dashing dude she’s with is a d-bag.

Baelfire shows up at the bar and shames Mrs. Gold into coming home.

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