Tag Archives: Oxford comma

Regular Poem: The Oxford Comma Did Not Actually Go to Oxford

17 Apr

Disclaimer:  This poem does not reflect my actual feelings toward the Oxford comma.

The Oxford comma did not actually go to Oxford.
(I’ve been doing some checking.)

Oh yes, he’s
a beautiful specimen.
He’s tall, handsome and always looks so
cool.
But he’s pretty common, you know.

Oh sure, he’s
always throwing lavish parties,
hosting big shebangs and
giving fantastic galas.
But if the party’s too big, a semicolon
(a semicolon for heaven’s sake!)
has to
take over his duties.

And another thing!
He’s a bootlegger, you know.
Don’t get too caught up in the logistics.
I just know he makes, sells and distributes
illegal substances of some kind
(perhaps whos that should be whoms is his vile specialty).

Regardless,
he did not go to Oxford, he is a bootlegger and I have no idea
why he insists on calling everyone Old Chap.

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