Workforce: A Good Movie Night, But a Bad Movie (That Isn’t Even Really a Movie)

Apparently, bourbon makes Tish and I both pretty giggly and pretty appreciative of bad movies.

Because we were livin’ the dream watching “Workforce” the other evening when we decided to drink a little whiskey and have a Janeway Movie Night (which is what we call any two-part Star Trek: Voyager).

And then I woke up the next day with a small, inconspicuous hangover and the aching feeling that what we had watched was not very good after all.

So, without further ado, here’s a review of “Workforce,” brought to you by Rebel Yell.

First a Synopsis:

The Cylons were created by man… Hold on… What?

Our show opens with Flirty!Janeway happily working on Caprica some alien planet as some kind of engineer.  We don’t know why Janeway is so flirty, nor do we know why she seems not to know she’s a starship captain.

Then Flirty!Janeway flirts with a lame alien dude (Jaffen), and EfficiencyMonitor!Seven shows up to quell the flirting–because it’s inefficient, of course–and Flirty!Janeway pulls some faces.  And they all go off to get their weekly injections that “protect against some radiation or something” (read: keep them submissive, complacent, etc.).

Top 5 Janeway Hairdos

For a more thorough examination of this topic, please consult this fabulous video.

Oh, Captain Janeway.  Girl got some hair.  Sonnets could be written.  But I’m not going that direction.  Ima do a list of my favorites.

Honorable Mention: Evil Pompadour

Evil Janeway’s evil pompadour in “Living Witness”–with bonus evil glove and evil stink eye.

Most Prominent Appearance: “Living Witness”

What It Says:  “Force must be applied without apology. It’s the Starfleet way.”

Why I Love It:  It makes no sense to me that those future people would imagine her with that short, dark, kinda butch hair.  Wouldn’t all records indicate that Janeway usually (as of Season 4) kept her hair frivolously long and luxurious?  Whatever, though.  Still pretty great.