Tag Archives: #covid19probz

Regular Poem: Essential Workers

27 Apr

haven’t punched my red cross card yet
i’m saving it for when i’m
sufficiently lonely and restless

but considering
quik trip is still open
i don’t know when that might be

because even before
sometimes when i’d get lonely
i’d make up a reason to go to quik trip

because quik trip
exclusively employs attractive polite cashiers
who want to engage with people

just yesterday that nice pretty boy ringing me up
talked to me about my dog and the weather
and smiled and made my day

three months ago that nice pretty girl ringing me up
talked to me about her favorite gatorade
and smiled and made my evening

a year ago that nice pretty man
mistook me for someone else and talked to me about relatives i didn’t have
and smiled and made my week

several times over the course of a few months last year
the beefy blond found me at the fountain drinks and told me
he was glad to see me and that i always make his night

(it’s a pheromone
i think
that makes me especially enticing to gas station clerks

whatever it is it’s a mutual appreciation
a reprieve
an anonymous pleasant interaction)

i’d feel guilty about it
except it’s so brief
you can wash up before and after and pose very little risk to anybody

i’d feel guilty about it
but from everything i’ve read it seems quik trip is an ethical company
compensates their employees well and looks out for their best interests and even has a gentleman’s agreemant with other gas stations to not encroach on their turf

i’d feel guilty
but i don’t
i need certain stimulation and i think they probably do too

Regular Poem: Hypothetical Casting Call

26 Apr

that before time
back when i had regularly scheduled extracurricular activities five days a week
all kind of blurs together in my memory
just as the days do now
with no discernible time markers or dialogue tags
a block of indistinct happenings both before and now

i’m going over vague events and trying to piece them together
as fully as i am able
to extract some joy from them–
in remembrance create hope
that similar things might occur in the future
when the fuzzy now time is over
when the malaise of this current season dissipates.

an anecdote i suddenly remembered today that made me smile:

the hottest soprano in praise band

(she is not my soprano
i’m alto b and she’s soprano a
but c team was on mic for the evening
so we were in the front row of the worship center sitting next to each other
because she likes to make fun of me for texting so much during rehearsals
and i like to make fun of her for balancing her checkbook during rehearsals)

and i

for some reason i do not recall
started talking about musical theater and that quickly devolved
into a flirty fake argument about which one of us
would be the better sandy in a production of grease

well you already know from the exposition i provided
that she is both very attractive and a soprano
what you don’t know is that her singing is like if there were a disney princess who was voiced by a ’90s country-western-pop-crossover diva
what you also don’t know is that my singing is more a ’30s cabaret alto who might voice a disney villain

(when her assigned alto is indisposed and i fill in
or when my assigned soprano is indisposed and she fills in
or when soprano c is doing keys 2 and alto c is out of town and we’re the people available
or whatever other circumstance forces us to sing together

we blend so well
sound so good together
and look so good together as a bonus

[in my opinion alto c is the hottest alto
but my proclivities for 60-year-old women with sharp jawlines are not ubiquitous unfortunately
so in popular opinion
i’m the hottest alto])

so she’s the obvious choice
for this not real production

but the way she was issuing challenges to me and waggling her eyebrows and flipping her long straight blonde hair and laughing to expose her slim pale throat
made me realize she was adamant that we should have some kind of manufactured rivalry about it

just for the fun of it

and she was so flirtatiously competitive
that it made me want to be equally flirtatiously competitive
and belt out the correct lyrics to the chorus of “hopelessly devoted to you” after she had botched them

(don’t worry
rehearsal was over by this time
so we weren’t being disruptive
as we sang at each other
increasingly ardently
in a showdown at the metropolitan baptist corral)

it concluded when i capitulated by saying
“i’m more of a rizzo anyway”

and that seemed to satisfy her
because a sandy is not actually a sandy
without a rizzo to be contrasted against

Regular Poem: Cycles

22 Apr

it goes in cycles
durations negotiable
durations be damned

not one hundred percent sure what we talked about over the course of our hour and a half phone convo
there was a lot to cover
in these trying times

but i do know this

we are branches from the same root
understanding of each other in a way that is unfathomable by others
and unfathomable in a certain way by us too
not exactly a yin and yang because we’re not opposites

we complete each other not because we provide what the other lacks
but because we arrive at the same conclusions
through different thought processes
the same amount of asshole filtered through different brains
so same so different temperament socialization etc

i feel better right now than i have in months
i’m not happy exactly
but i’m not
sad and angry and feeling like burning down a building and punching somebody and crying all night in my car before driving off a cliff the following morning

i don’t like that you’re going through it right now
and you didn’t like that i was going through it
last summer
and two and a half years ago
and [ad infinitum]

one or the other of us is perpetually going through it
and we are a constant to each other regardless

it goes in cycles
and it is what it is
and it is unrelenting

at least we have each other
and all our other chosen assholes

Regular Poem: Limited Time Only

16 Apr

my praise band soprano says they do it every summer
it’s not summer
and barely spring in name and thunder storms and intermittent convertible days and window-shaking wind
but i finally saw it today with my own two eyes
i’ve never been invested before so i don’t have a personal testimony for years past
but i trust her
she’s never lied to me and she’s very good at harmony even if reading music isn’t her strong suit

i’ll wait and see
and hopefully the limited time
isn’t too limited

it makes me wonder about other limited times
with no clear end date

surely baja blast sold in cans at the grocery store
is a morale booster
and the season will be extended

Regular Poem: Errand

15 Apr

never did get cold enough over the winter to kill off the ants
(but how cold is cold enough to kill ants
i bet if a couple of those tiny formic acid bastards somehow stowed away on apollo 11
and had packed enough bacon grease and apple peels in their little bindles
they’re probably still alive on the moon to this day)
but i’m wondering if that translates into
being a warm enough winter to not have killed
my lawnmower
probably ought to get some fresh gasoline just in case
considering i’ve been using the same stale five gallon gas can for literally years
and topping off the engine with new gas and a can of sea foam and my frustrated tears
but i’m all out of new
(well by now new ish if it weren’t just fumes)
gas and i haven’t cried about mowing in at least three mowings

so i have a place to go tomorrow at least
instead of driving all the way to the casino just to see the empty parking lot

Regular Poem: Some Questions, No Answers

8 Apr

what can you send through the mail these days
what’s the rule on glass containers
i tried to send some earrings in a birthday card once and that didn’t go through
can you even go to the post office

what i wouldn’t give to just be able to dick around
go to four different places to buy three different items
stop off at the post office to put my bills in the box inside
place myself in the prettiest employee’s line
to buy a book of fun stamps with birds or flowers for sending fun things to friends
and a book of flag stamps for sending bills
chit chat about whether a certified letter or a registered letter is a pettier way to send money you don’t want to send to relatives you despise

is the casino even sending out fliers anymore about ufc fights and seven times points nights and prime rib at the buffet
maybe they’ve got an essential worker down there with a big red marker xing out all the events before the fliers get sent
just so we can get a glimpse of what might’ve been

Regular Poem: The Guy with the Talking Donkey

6 Apr

i know for a fact
i heard a radio preacher talking about him
just the other day
when i was between audiobooks
and had tuned in to the bottom of the dial
for old-timey hymns to calm my racing heart–
racing against no one and for no reason except
everything going on and not going on–
but had stayed
because i love that guy with the talking donkey
and wanted to hear what they were going to say about him

can’t remember what that radio preacher was saying about Balaam
but he had some other guys he was comparing him to
can’t remember if Balaam came out on top
in the ranking or whatever
Saul might’ve factored in
something about bad decisions and repentance and obedience
i might be confusing this sermon with a book i read recently
or maybe a dream i had

but anyway

i miss going to church
and bringing up weird Old Testament stories in sunday school
that’s my deal in sunday school

there’s the gal with heartfelt insights on the nature of the Holy Spirit and our response to His leading
there’s the guy who connects the topic to other relevant scripture
there’s the guy who relates everything to Kingdom living
there’s the gal with a lot of supernatural life experiences
there’s the guy who comes up with awesome metaphors
a bunch of others too who contribute intermittently

and there’s me
with the Old Testament stuff
those asshole prophets are just so
interesting to me
and often so relatable


before the Holy Spirit was given
God used so much weird stuff to communicate with us

talking donkeys
burning bushes
ravens providing sustenance
lots cast in certain ways

and maybe the Holy Spirit still does weird stuff like that

i don’t know
my dog’s currently barking at nothing, maybe the fog
and i’m unable to interpret it regardless

i miss going to church

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