Regular Poem: Double 0 License Renewal

7 Dec

To: [Redacted]
From: Human Resources
Re: License Renewals

Compose Email

Good afternoon!

First of all congratualtions to [redacted] on winning the betting pool regarding the date of [redacted]’s [redacted]!

More exciting chances to teambuild and [redacted] to come!

The following personnel’s certifications have expired and must report to HR offices before [redacted] to sign up for renewals.
When you sign up, remember to keep in mind the length and labor-intensivity of the courses.

First Aid/CPR:
[list redacted]

Hand-to-hand Combat:
[list redacted]

Parkour:
[list redacted]

Seduction:
[list redacted]

Cheekiness during Torture:
[list redacted]

Unrepentant Murder:
[list redacted]

If you’ve found your name
among any of these lists,
please sign up
for the required recertifications,

but also remember
your name is nothing.
You are but a number
in service
to Queen and Country.

Best,
[redacted]

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