Regular Poem: Mid-Week

6 Apr

“Are you still happy?”
she says–
a real question, a thoughtful question,
but her eyes sparkle in the twilight.
She’s
making fun of me
and taking care of me
at the same time.
“Kinda. I probably need another sunburn,”
I say.
It’s my real answer,
but I’m playing along, too.

It’s hard not to
dump all your problems
on a person
who is like this–
just talk and talk
saying nothing
and everything
until your tongue bleeds
and your heart is unburdened
and you look up and find
the beginnings of
sympathetic tears
in eyes that just a moment ago
held a little irony and a tinge of sarcasm.

It’s hard not to
subconciously, masochistically want
to prove how the worst you are
when a person like this
thinks you’re the best,
and so you talk and talk
until you realize
you’re no longer hemorrhaging
hurt and anger
but joy and laughter,
as though you were pumping at a well
and at first it’s all mud
but you’ve primed it now
and it’s
cool clear water–
life-giving, refreshing,
to be hauled out to the rest
of the villagers.

The smile isn’t fake
when you hand it to her
under the table,
slip it across to her
while nobody is watching
and delight
in recieving a correspondingly secret one in return.
It’s yours alone,
and you don’t care
how many others she has in reserve
for others who need them.
You suspect
you’re the only one,
but you don’t want to be selfish
because it’s such a treasure:
It’d be a shame
if no one else
got to enjoy it.

But am I still happy–
like I was when I told her
Sunday
in my glittery cocktail dress
and hammock-nap sunburn?

Well, no.
But I’ve got a whole spring and summer
to get more sunburns
and a pay raise
to get more glittery cocktail dresses
and her phone number
so I can text her and she can text me back
in mostly nonsensical emojis.

And there’s always
Wednesday night
to talk and talk
in the cooling parking lot
under a purple sky,
the nights growing longer and warmer
and the eyes sparkling the same.

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One Response to “Regular Poem: Mid-Week”

  1. Silver Screenings 7 April 2016 at 4:52 PM #

    I LOVE this description of friendship! Perfect.

    Also, a gal can never have too many glittery cocktail dresses.

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