Regular Poem: One Loop of Many

1 Apr

A surge of
energy and determination
from nowhere
really
or everywhere
maybe
or somewhere
most likely

unexpected, only partially warranted–
small victories
tiny triumphs
a new old way
familiar
well-trodden
but put away for a season–

a stupid season
an ugly season
a misused season
a season that’s over
until the uncaring wind blows it back, forcing the sun to work twice as hard
to warm the air again,
but the ground holds some heat yet
and the frost doesn’t stick,
but the trust is broken,
and the anticipation of another spell of it
holds and squeezes and finally releases,
and what’s left after is crumpled
but warm at least–

electrifies as much as
it startles,
excites as much as
it inspires just a trickle of dread, worry
that it will end as abruptly and mysteriously as it had begun,
but the end
is never really the end
of either, just a pause
a caesura
as the window opens and shuts and opens again
(la fenêtre ouvre, la fenêtre ferme–
forgotten French reemerges in much the same way),
and the circles circle each other
tracing and retracing the venn diagam
of happiness and sadness
hot and cold
rage and peace,
and the billows of it all
are nausea-inducing,
but it’s been a lazy river lately
instead of a storm at sea,
and there’s this

surge of energy and determination
from nowhere
really.

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