Regular Poem: Staci, Wearin’ Culottes: An Elegy

4 Mar

but why
did i never ask her
why
she always wore
culottes?

or maybe i did
but she had been too desensitized to me
to answer
maybe she had heard her theme song
sung by too many adolescent voices
and assumed i was
ridiculing her
when really

i was just flabbergasted
beguiled
by her fashion choices
and how was i to know
my excited utterance
put to a simple tune
would be a hit?

when i suddenly remembered
her
this evening
i laughed
because of that song
(a nothing of a song
a jazz riff
stating her name
and her state of being
in culottes)
and it was a fond memory
from my side of the equation
and then

i remembered
it wasn’t just me
solitary and silly
serenading her

i remembered
everyone else sang it too
and maybe their motives weren’t so pure

and i always think
i’m good-naturedly ribbing people
a wink a nod
an assurance
i’m thinking about them
considering them
contemplating them

but maybe i’m just
a mean girl
(as some have suggested
to my continual surprise
and consternation)

like some places
and by some estimations
i’m a mean girl
(some queen bee untouchable and haughty)
and some places
and by other estimations
i’m the nice one
(some great lady seeing the best in situations and people)

and i just

i didn’t mean to hurt staci wearin’ culottes’s feelings
i just delight
in the absurdity of life
i should’ve known
better
should’ve known that
what i do catches
like a shortstop
or like a breath at the sight of someone gorgeous
or like a hangnail on satin sheets
but what i think and feel
catches
like a cubist painting–
all angles at once
and ugly on the surface

and maybe i’m vapid and self-absorbed
a mean girl by nature and by trade
thoughtless, heartless
generally less
than what i should be
and maybe staci
has retired her culottes

i wouldn’t know her face
if i saw it today
but would she know my song?

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2 Responses to “Regular Poem: Staci, Wearin’ Culottes: An Elegy”

  1. Silver Screenings 6 March 2016 at 8:13 AM #

    Whoa! This one says a lot. If I were Stacy-in-Culottes, I would have taken the song as a fun mini-tribute. But so many people want to be the schoolyard bully, even in their so-called adulthood. If I were Stacy, I would own that song. Use it on all my social media.

    This piece also says you have a tender heart – not at all like a mean girl.

    • TheBestofAlexandra 13 March 2016 at 12:39 AM #

      Is this a confession that you want me to pen a tune for you? 😉 Thanks so much for the comment.

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