Regular Poem: Just Another Song That Nonsensically Quantifies Teardrops

13 Apr

You know how songs like to quantify teardrops nonsensically?  Well… I’ve spent a lot more time and energy on this poem than I had planned.  I even dug into the deep recesses of my brain/education/the internet to figure exponential equations so the math would be at least partially accurate.  

On the first day that you left me
I did nothin’ but cry.
Good thing I was hefty
’cause even food was passin’ me by.
Just sat all day weepin’,
losin’ all my sleepin’
cryin’ big fat teardrops and wonderin’ why.

On the second day I got to countin’.
Had nothin’ better to do.
I was cryin’ a veritable fountain
since you’d been untrue.
Although my cryin’ seemed never ceasin’,
by approximately 15 percent it had been decreasin’,
but don’t get me wrong I still love you.

Estimate for day one lands at 104-thou
Two’s a little better with 88.
Month later I’m under 800 now.
But even if I extrapolate,
I’ll always be cryin’,
till the moment I’m dyin’,
exponentially cryin’ and how.

Teardrops 104000A

A closer look as the days stretch by:

Teardrops 104000B

I always got points in math for showing my work:

Teardrops 104000 In a short two and a half months, I will be crying fewer than one tear a day!

3 Responses to “Regular Poem: Just Another Song That Nonsensically Quantifies Teardrops”

  1. silverscreenings 14 April 2013 at 3:56 PM #

    This is my favourite line: “by approximately 15 percent it had been decreasin’”
    It’s so unusual to see percentages in poetry.


  1. National Poetry Writing Month Retrospective | I Started Late and Forgot the Dog. - 4 May 2013

    […] Up to Just Another Song That Nonsensically Quantifies Teardrops:  I got to thinking about how the exponential model of teardrops is true only supposing one does […]

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