OUaT 2.3 Recap: When Lancelot Shows Up for Approximately 16 Lame Seconds

23 Oct

Episode 3: Lady of the Lake

Do we need to talk about how much I love Snow White’s outfit and sass, or do they speak for themselves?

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Red runs to a tent meeting over which Charming presides, the subject of which being taking back the kingdom from his (kinda) dad.  Red announces that King George’s new general is like a leviathan.  All the king’s men arrive, and the good guys all go their separate ways to do stuff, vowing to meet at Mama Charming’s house, and Black Lancelot catches Snow White.  He’s the new general, and Snow White is flabbergasted that a member of the Round Table would stoop to working as a hired gun.

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Snow White’s still unconscious in the pit, and Cora’s taking care of her while she chats with Emma about this corner of the land being a haven.  She laments being trapped here because of what Regina did and claims the “apple fell far from the tree.”  Emma buys it and talks about going back to Henry.

Snow White wakes up and immediately begins protecting Emma from Cora and trying to tell her not to trust her.  Emma balks at this.  She obviously don’t know nothin’ ’bout Fairy Tale Land.  A rope descends, and Emma and Snow White are called to an audience with the leader.

Back in ME, Charming and Henry discuss “Operation Scorpion”–that is, getting their ladies back.  Charming tries to convince Henry he can’t accompany him because there’s too much magic involved, but as soon as Charming turns his back–thinking Henry’s going to school–Henry runs off.

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Emma and Snow White discuss Cora, and Emma thinks she “could’ve handled her,” but Snow White disagrees.  Snow also tells Emma she came through the hat to be with her, which angers Emma because she thinks she’s very self-sufficient, etc.  They continue this petulant-teen scene for a little while longer.

Meanwhile, Mulan–whose hair is somehow bigger than last time; Tish suggests that maybe she has a pump–consoles Sleeping Beauty, who is upset about her prince’s death and is blaming it on Emma and Snow White.  She wants justice, but Mulan tells her it’s “dangerous to confuse revenge and justice.”

You know what goes great with chimera (turducken in a pinch)? Exposition, gigantic hair, and befuddled facial expressions.

The leader turns out to be Lancelot, of course, and Snow White enjoys a reunion with him.  They all sit down to eat some charred chimera, and Emma sarcastically compares it to turducken, which makes me lol.  Lancelot expositions this time that they don’t know how or why these people are left in Fairy Tale Land and that there are no magic portals back to ME left and that the ogres are back and that Cora’s powers have been stripped.  Snow White says she has a plan but that she doesn’t want to talk about it around Cora.  So Lancelot sends them on their way and tells them to take Mulan in case anybody needs tips on how to backcomb her hair.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback: Lancelot has taken Snow White to King George’s.  They exchange a lot of barbs about her ruining his kingdom and his not knowing anything about true love.  Oh, but his true love drank a cursed potion that disallowed her from getting preggers.  He tricks Snow White into drinking it, as well, natch.

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Out in the woods, Snow White’s trying to equip  Emma with fairy-tale-land weaponry in case they come upon any ogres, but Emma whines about wanting her gun (because that totally worked for her when she was fighting that dragon).  Snow White reveals they’re on their way back to her palace to find the wardrobe.

Back in ME: Jefferson, the Mad Hatter, sits dejectedly on a bench at the docks (what is this, The Killing?) looking at a wanted poster his daughter made about him when Henry approaches.  Henry implores him to help get back to Fairy Tale Land; Jefferson refuses.  Henry asks why he’s not trying to find his daughter; Jefferson says he thinks she’s be mad at him for abandoning her.  Henry encourages him because not knowing where your parent is and why he or she left you is the worst.

Regina’s packing up her office when Henry calls her, asking her to go to lunch.  She looks so acquiescent about the townspeople’s wishes and so excited to meet Henry.  I want to believe you’ve changed, Non-Evil Queen!

Once she leaves, Henry sneaks in and steals something.  You manipulative little shit!  Regina’s gonna be so sad you ditched her!

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Mary Margaret expositions that Ogres are blind and hunt by hearing.  Emma continues being sarcastic and surly, and they all leave her alone as they go to gather firewood or something.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Lancelot deposits Snow White in the forest.  Lancelot reveals the king has sent an ambush team to go kill Charming’s mom.

Charming and Mama Charming  share some sweet dialogue about his bringing Snow White home, etc. when the ambush happens and a fight ensues in which Mama Charming gets shot by an arrow.  Lancelot and Snow White arrive a day late and a dollar short, but at least Snow White and Mama Charming meet finally.

“Girl! You the reason my prince is dead! Now Ima lick yo face!”

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Speaking of ambushes, Sleeping Beauty sneaks up on Snow White, intending murder, but Snow White is a badass, so this doesn’t work.  They wrestle around and have a heart-to-heart, and Mulan intervenes with her knife drawn saying she’ll deal with Sleeping Beauty on her anger issues.  Emma sweeps in to rescue her mom and fires a shot (just to flag ’em down).  She alerts the ogres.  And the big-bellied ogre says “Why’d ya do it”–er… he gets all up in Emma’s face and Snow White shoots him straight in the eye with an arrow. And this show is the Xena-est it’s ever been.

Can’t decide which of these looks more obvious.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Turns out Charming’s mom has been shot by a poisoned arrow.  Charming proposes they save her with water from that enchanted lake from last season, which is only a few days’ journey away.  On the way they discuss why Lancelot works for King George.  He says the same-old same-old precipitated his fall from grace:  A woman.

Mama Charming tete-a-tetes with Snow White about a pendant she has whose swing direction predicts the sex of any future children.  When she hands it to Snow White, it remains still.  Bum bum bum!  So Snow White comes clean about the curse.

Present day Fairy Tale Land:  Sleeping Beauty whines during the long journey to Snow White’s castle, which looks like crap and a half nowadays.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  They arrive at the lake, which was supposed to have a lady and some water in it but has neither.

Back in ME: Henry has sneaked into the mausoleum using the purloined keys in order to… extract some magic from somewhere?  Charming shows up and saves him from accidentally getting bitten to death by that two-headed snake Regina used to kill her husband, and he vows to let Henry help if he promises not to get in trouble.  Also, why is Charming there?  Because Non-Evil Regina got worried about Henry when he stood her up and called Charming to check on him in the mausoleum when she figured out her keys were missing and she didn’t think Henry would respond well to her intervention.  DAAAAWWWW!

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Charming is sad that the lake’s dryness is his fault (because he straight up murdered the lady in the lake).  Lancelot says he can probably find a few drops because he was raised near a lake (um… in real fairy tale life, wasn’t Lancelot the Lady of the Lake’s son-ish?).  They find a tiny sea-shell full and try to give it to Mama Charming, who tries to give it to Snow White (to cure the baby thing), who makes Mama Charming drink it.  But the drink doesn’t work!!!! Bum bum bum! So Mama Charming’s last request is to see her son marry.

Present day Fairy Tale Land:  Now the crew’s inside the palace and reveling in their broken dreams.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback: Lancelot, being a member of the Round Table, has the power to marry people, so he gets to it:  The ceremony involves a chalice, and so, obviously he slight-of-handed the magic lake water to give to Snow White.  Lancelot and Mama Charming in cahoots!

Present day Fairy Tale Land: Lancelot shows up to help, but he slips up by calling Henry by name–Emma told only Cora that detail.  Turns out Cora murdered Lancelot a long time ago (allegedly) and has been posing as him ever since, looking for a way to get to Maine.  Cora force chokes a few folks, and Emma sets the magic wardrobe on fire.

Fairy Tale Land Flashback:  Mama Charming’s buried, and Snow White’s about to tell Charming about the curse, but the pendant is swinging, and Lancelot reveals the switcheroo.

The OUaT Spice Girls: Saving the Kingdom one synth-chime-infused ballad at a time! Pictured L to R–Sporty, Ginger, Posh, Baby. Not Pictured–Scary, who’s stuck back in ME being sad and non-evil

Present day Fairy Tale Land: In the aftermath, Emma realizes she’s been wrong about hating Snow White for “abandoning” her and all that because she realizes she just destroyed their best way home to protect her child.  Mulan and Sleeping Beauty agree to stick with them and help them find a way home because they got nothin’ better to do.

Cora appears in the palace and gathers up the magic wardrobe’s ashes.

Back in ME:  Jefferson finally reunites with his daughter.

Charming decides to teach Henry to swordfight.

King George (who is the DA in Storybrooke) is creepin’ ’round the corner in his car, spying on Charming and Henry as they play swordfight.

Notes:

  • Henry is obviously the smartest person in Storybrooke and should be the new mayor.
  • Emma does a fantastic job being the bumbling Gabrielle in this episode.  Will she continue Gabrielle-ing?
  • I’m going to take a minute to daydream about whom I would cast as Guinevere:  Detective Sofia Curtis because she’s elegant and looks great in ridiculous period clothes?  Alicia Witt because she doesn’t get enough work and why the heck not?
  • This episode was kinda boring.  Kinda really boring.  Best part:  Xena ogres.  Worst part: The entire B plot with Mama Charming and Lancelot, who both deserved much more exciting stories/deaths.  I mean, Lancelot died off screen, for goodness sake (supposedly).
  • And where in the world was Non-Evil Queen this episode?!  She better be all up in the next one.  Also Rumplestiltskin, whom I missed, but not as much.
  • I like the idea of having three story lines because the show does a good job of mixing them and linking them through dialogue and situations and themes, but I’d much prefer having three non-lame story lines.
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