Dear Googlers: Some Letters to Some People I’ve Never Met (Probably)

5 Oct

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “why did joan crawford not leave more to her twins?”:

I’m not sure.  If Mommie Dearest can be believed, she didn’t really like children and only had them for the publicity.  But I think her real inner life was probably more complicated than that.  I tend to see the glass half full and choose to believe she genuinely loved her children but couldn’t express herself very well in this aspect of her life because 1. she was in Hollywood too long; 2. She was naturally kind of a cold, domineering person; and 3. Her kids were probably brats anyway.

I doubt any of this is useful.  I wonder about Joan Crawford and her children, too.

Yours inquisitively,
Alexandra

PS How much did she even leave to them?  Is this a relative thing, like my mom leaving me $15,000 would be a big deal whereas their mom leaving them the same would be an insult?

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “star trek voyager queen arachnia iphone 4s case”:

If you find this item, which I hope against hope that you do, will you check and see if they have one for Motorola Droid Razr, as well?  Because that would be the most marvelous thing ever.

Thanks a lot and best of luck,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “what is the movie where someone says – ‘bum bum bum…what a weirdo'”:

IDK.  Who’s in it?  Is it good?  Is it on Netflix?

Intrigued,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “old school switchblade”:

I only wish I had more information for you.  But how much can switchblades have changed over the years?  My dad has had quite a few, and the mechanism seems to be the same on all of them.  I suppose the design is slightly different, in which case I probably prefer the looks of the old school ones, as well.

Affectionately,
Alexandra

PS Please don’t cut anyone.

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “personal pronouns diagram”:

Ooh!  Good idea!  I should totally get on this!

Grammatically,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “nun ballet”:

Is this a thing?  If so, will you take me to one?

Hopefully,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “intitle:recap ‘her boots’ -contessa -gen -pregnant -bandit”:

This is one of the most interesting strings of words I’ve ever read.

Beguiled,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “slime sex”:

I am not 100% sure what this is, and I’m not googling it to find out.  I suspect I would find things that were considerably less safe for work than my blog.

K bye,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms“why did ellen send patty cupcakes”:

Because she totally loves Patty even though she would never admit it.

Always,
Alexandra

***

Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “damages season 1 recap” and “damages season 2 recap”:

I also have full-episode recaps for all of season 3.  And season 4’s on the way!

Shamelessly,
Alexandra

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7 Responses to “Dear Googlers: Some Letters to Some People I’ve Never Met (Probably)”

  1. silverscreenings 8 October 2012 at 6:22 PM #

    Ha! This post is hilarious! I think the “nun ballet” is my fave.

    • TheBestofAlexandra 8 October 2012 at 6:29 PM #

      Thanks! I can’t decide which would be better: a ballet put on by nuns or a ballet about nuns. I am up for either. Or both.

  2. Victoria Elizabeth Barnes 9 October 2012 at 1:57 PM #

    Those are all far more interesting than anything anyone has come to my blog for.
    Let us know if you find out about the “bum bum bum what a weirdo…”

  3. Sparrow in the Tree Top 11 October 2012 at 5:00 PM #

    Hahaha I love these. I always wonder what other people get and WHY?
    Best one by far:
    nun ballet.

    • TheBestofAlexandra 16 October 2012 at 9:46 PM #

      I agree re: nun ballet = best; I keep imagining Whoopi Goldberg reprising her Sister Act role except en pointe.

      • Sparrow in the Tree Top 17 October 2012 at 10:40 PM #

        Ha! We’ve essentially come up with a new reality show you realize that right?

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