Top 5 Janeway Hairdos

6 Sep

For a more thorough examination of this topic, please consult this fabulous video.

Oh, Captain Janeway.  Girl got some hair.  Sonnets could be written.  But I’m not going that direction.  Ima do a list of my favorites.

Honorable Mention: Evil Pompadour

Evil Janeway’s evil pompadour in “Living Witness”–with bonus evil glove and evil stink eye.

Most Prominent Appearance: “Living Witness”

What It Says:  “Force must be applied without apology. It’s the Starfleet way.”

Why I Love It:  It makes no sense to me that those future people would imagine her with that short, dark, kinda butch hair.  Wouldn’t all records indicate that Janeway usually (as of Season 4) kept her hair frivolously long and luxurious?  Whatever, though.  Still pretty great.

#5 Arachnia’s Wig

In other news, check out that blush!  And those nails!  And that everything!

Most Prominent Appearance:  “Bride of Chaotica”

What It Says:  Bow to the Queen of the Spider People!  I will do anything for my ship, including but not limited to dress up marvelously and play a crazy holonovel character who just happens to be the definition of Space Age Chic.

Why I Love It:  Have you seen it?  If you have, you know exactly why.

#4  Poof Pony

Even fighting mutated viruses in “Macrocosm,” Janeway remains practical, elegant, and kind of Girl Scout-ish in the Poof Pony.

Most Prominent Appearance:  “Future’s End,” “Macrocosm”

What It Says:  Business in the front, slightly more casual business in the back.  I’ve loosened up a little from my rigid Starfleet protocol, but I’m still mostly business.

Why I Love It:  It’s a good looking hair style–very ’90s–and it gives Janeway an excuse to wear a big space barrette.

#3 Free Flowing

Janeway has allegedly just woken up. Also, is that a phonograph to her left?

Most Prominent Appearance:  “Eye of the Needle,” “Remember”

What It Says:  The Captain has left the starship.  Say hello to Kathryn!

Why I Love It: In the first couple seasons, the show liked to show us how soft and feminine and emotional and contemplative Janeway was when she took off her command mask–in later seasons, this manifests mostly in seeing her without her Starfleet tunic while in earlier seasons she gets to let her hair down, literally and figuratively.  I like the juxtaposition although I do prefer my Janeway badass and shooting things.

#2 The Bob

“Year of Hell” gives Janeway the opportunity to get a rad scar and have humidity-curled hair.

Most Prominent Appearance:  “Year of Hell” and after

What It Says:  I’m tired of wasting all my replicator rations on bobby pins, dude.  I’m tough and sassy and ain’t got the time for this (Ay-oh!).

Why I Love It:  When it first appeared, I really loved the bob.  It had a lot of volume and some wave to it.  It was a new look that said that new circumstances had caused her to adopt a more practical hairstyle.  Also, I was really into the accompanying facial scar in “Year of Hell.”  Is that bad?

#1 Season 2 Bun (of Steel, as some call it)

This bun is so intense that even the lighting softens in fright.

Most Prominent Appearance:  Mid-Season 1 through Season 2

What It Says:  Come at me.  I dare you.  I’m Starfleet, and I’ve got photon torpedoes.

Why I Love It:  You never miss a real good thing till it’s gone.  I’m in Season 6 right now, and the bob’s grown out and just looks like a soccer mom.  I miss the no-nonsense, HBIC bun.  Also, the early bun was a little too tight to be flattering.  By season 2, the bouffant on it was GIGANTIC and GLAMOROUS and THE BEST.

Bonus Hair of Note (Because I occasionally pay attention to other characters when I watch Voyager)

Chakotay’s Gray

You can really see it only when the light hits it right.

Most Prominent Appearance:  Season 1

What It Says:  They haven’t decided to dye me yet.  Or maybe they’re dying me now to make me look older/wiser?

Why I Love It: I think Chakotay is super cute in any instance.  Look at those dimples!  But the gray did add a little depth and shimmer to his look.

The Kazon Coral Reef

“Make one more remark about how I got my toupée from the underside of a boat.  I dare you.”

Most Prominent Appearance: Any Kazon episode, especially “State of Flux” (because the Kazon character had partially fused with some metal)

What It Says:  I am a proud warrior.  Who is also ridiculous.

Why I Love It:  The Kazon are some of my favorite villains.  They look like really pissed off Oompa Loompas.  Also, I love to sing “As the Kazons!  Go rolling!  Along!”  And they’re nonsensically violent.  And one of them boned Seska.  Gross!

B’Elanna’s Perm

“Neelix’s bloodwine is going to be the worst. But the guest of honor can’t just not show up to a party.”

Most Prominent Appearance: “Barge of the Dead” and after

What It Says: I’m totes in touch with my Klingon side.

Why I Love It:  Who doesn’t love a good (or bad) perm?  Additionally, I like that she keeps the perm after this Klingon roots episode.  It shows she really has come to terms with her heritage.  In other news, how Xena is that episode?  The sets, the story, the effects, everything.  Totally Klingon Xena!

2 Responses to “Top 5 Janeway Hairdos”

  1. Steve Higgins 12 December 2013 at 3:35 AM #

    Found it quite interesting to stumble across your musings on Captain Janeways hairstyles. (She’s my favourite Captain after Kirk and still hoping for a voyager movie!)Personally, the ‘Bob’ is my favourite

    • TheBestofAlexandra 12 December 2013 at 7:20 PM #

      The bob does seem to be the front-runner. While I do love it, the Bun of Steel is just so much more dramatic.
      Thanks for reading!
      Also, Kirk is my second-favorite captain (after Janeway, of course). I think they’re a lot alike and get really confused when people love Kirk and hate Janeway. But whatever, I guess.

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