Episode 13: The Next One’s Gonna Go in Your Throat, cont.
When is season 4 out on Netflix?!
Tom and Ellen meet on the street (outside Ellen’s house?). She’s realized her bag is gone, and she’s going to file a report about it. Tom says he talked to Patty, who has reconsidered and now wants Tom to go through with the deal. Whoa. I do not believe that. Does Ellen believe that for real, or does she want to do it as badly as Tom does? Ooh! I understand why that flashforward of Patty crying, “I told you to stop!” happened!!!!! That screaming is either to Tom or Ellen, not some hired hitman killing Tom!!!!
Frobisher hops in his Escalade, and Wes is there with a gun. Rogue agent! Wes says, “[Ellen]’s not looking for justice, but I’d like her to have some anyway,” and cocks his gun. Frobisher argues for his life, claiming he’s “a better person now” who volunteers twice a week. My roommate asks the burning question, “Where? At the hooker shelter?” He continues to beg and cry. Wes, rather anticlimactically, calls the police.
Martin Short looks at a gun on his desk. Tom lets Martin Short in with the money bag.
The police arrest Frobisher. Ghost of Gay Crush Lawyer talks to Frobisher in the squad car. Frobisher remains optimistic, but Ghost of Gay Crush Lawyer doesn’t think the future will bode well.
Gangster Attorney comes in to see Tom about Martin Short. Ellen parks outside. Martin Short remains outside in his car, watches Ellen go in, then replaces the purse in Tom’s Honda. Ellen comes in to get the money, and Gangster Attorney hides in the kitchen so that Ellen can’t interfere with his conversation with Tom. When this scene was a flashforward, it was implied that Ellen and Tom were doing something shady together with the money, but now it’s revealed she’s going to take it to Patty.
Outside, Hobo takes the purse from the Honda. Gangster Attorney stabs Tom because he won’t tell where Martin Short is. They struggle. He calls Zedeck to tell him that Tom and Martin Short are doing a deal. Martin Short comes in during the stabbing/interrogation and shoots Gangster Attorney.
Ellen pulls the car over and, suspicious, looks at the money.
As Tom lies on the floor stabbed (Why did the flashforwards imply that these stab wounds were so mysterious? That switchblade looked pretty regular to me.), Gangster Attorney and Martin Short struggle. He strangles Martin Short (this is the standing-up strangling).
Ellen discovers the money is hundreds on top of stacks of paper. The oldest trick in the book!
Tom rises to his feet and clubs Gangster Attorney with a monkey wrench (not a hatchet, after all, but where did the monkey wrench come from in the first place? Is Tom secretly doing some plumbing to supplement his income?).
Ellen realizes there’s also no envelope in the bag.
Ellen beats Patty to Patty’s house to give her the money and tell her that the envelope ain’t there. Michael sneaks up on her creepily in a stupid hat.
Tom stumbles bloodily out and runs into Hobo. He asks Hobo to do something upstairs for him, and tells him to get the Ellen’s purse back to Ellen.
Ellen has gone back down to the street and puts the bag o’cash in the trunk. Patty calls Ellen and tells her to stay there so they can meet at her house because Michael wants to talk there. Meanwhile, Patty is driving that Jag. Man, why didn’t I put those pieces together when I saw it in the flashforward? Also, someone (Michael, duh.) drives off in the Honda, leaving Ellen carless and flabbergasted.
Tom calls his wife from a payphone and tells her to take the kids and leave.
Hobo goes upstairs to clean up and cradles Martin Short, who is still barely alive. Love you, Hobo. Knew all along you didn’t do it.
The Honda runs into Patty. We still don’t see the driver.
Martin Short calls Joe to gloat about the DA having evidence it doesn’t really have. Joe’s hella drunk.
Patty gets out of the car and sees Michael running away but pretends in the interrogation she doesn’t know it was him.
Tom staggers home and starts to clean himself up in the bathroom. Joe Tobin shows up and gives him a swirlie while saying, “You don’t know my family.”
Death by swirlie. Not sexy, Tom.
Lily Tomlin is smoking and laughing as she watches her old home movies from the ‘60s.
Joe stares at Tom’s lifeless corpse on the toilet, puts on his black gloves, and wraps him in a blanket.
Patty, at the police station, is genuinely upset about Tom’s death, as it turns out.
Lily Tomlin jumps in a cab and wants to go to the East River, where she jumps in! That was her body, not Tom’s, the whole time!
Here’s Patty’s on-the-phone-distraught-I-told-you-to-stop scene.
Martin short calls Ellen; he says he had put the documents in Ellen’s bag. Turns out, Martin Short has the real money and is preparing to get on a plane.
Ellen asks the detective whether anything else was in the bag; then she starts using her brain finally and goes to see Hobo, who gives her the envelope.
The police have picked up Joe Tobin. Patty presents the case to Joe about seizing the money and TM’s parentage. Encouraging him to confess, she says, “When we first met, I believed you actually wanted to do the right thing.” Further encouraging him to confess, Patty turns off the intercom.
She emerges from the interrogation room and tells Gates Joe’s ready to make a statement. Both Ellen and Patty look close to breaking down as Ellen asks what happened during the blackout. Patty says, “We talked about confession.”
There’s Patty at the lakehouse again, title card May 1972. The same doctor scene from earlier.
After Tom’s funeral, Patty and Ellen stand at the edge of the dock at the lakehouse where they talk about what they want to do with their bodies after death. Patty wants her ashes scattered there. She asks what Ellen’s plans are for her career now. Ellen’s unsure. Patty states, “I was at a crossroads once.” She tells the story of how as she was about to graduate from law school she got offered a job at a prestigious law firm in NYC; in fact, she was “the first woman ever accepted there.” Simultaneously, she got pregnant by the only man she ever loved (Phil and William Hurt were chopped liver?) who wanted to stay in the town where they went to school and raise a humdrum Parsons-esque family. He had no ambition. Flashback within the story to Julian-Decker-horse time. The doctor puts her on bed rest. But she goes walking instead. Non-flashback, Patty says the miscarriage “just happened. And so I was free to start my career.”
Lyin’ liar miscarriage-abortion face!!!!!!
Ellen asks if Patty’s career is worth all the sacrifices she’s made. Mini flashback to Patty crying over the baby’s grave.
Ellen stares at Patty for like a year, and Patty never answers.
Ellen leaves, and Patty stares at her for like a year as she goes.
How many complete seasons have I watched, Patty? THREE SEASONS!!!!!!