Damages 3.12 Recap: When Season 1’s Bearded Chickens Come Home to Roost, and Tom Is Dreamy Again Instead of Being a Big Wuss

6 Mar

Episode 12:  You Were His Little Monkey

Patty falls asleep in her office chair.  In her dream, Patty’s looking through a hole in a wall to see that horse again, except this time he’s appropriately in an outdoor pen.

Back in real life, Judge has looked over the brief about TM and the charity/Antigua money laundering and has decided to let them continue with the case.   And there are so many stripes in this scene. Patty and Tom are each wearing two different stripes, and the Judge is wearing three different stripes.  Whoa, costume designers!

“Is this an inflated y-axis?”

However, Judge wants to talk to Patty alone about Tom’s financial situation (because he’s recently found out about it).  Patty seems surprised and concerned.

In Patty’s office, Patty grills Tom about why he didn’t tell her sooner and ends the scene by telling him, “You know what you need to do.”  My roommate says, “Kill yourself.”

“I call the shots, now, old fart!”

Joe meets Zedeck in an alley.  Zedeck’s mad about TM’s death, and they have another old ways vs. new ways argument.  Joe gets aggravated and says, “I call the shots now.”

“What’s a five-letter word for me?”

Martin Short meets Lily Tomlin at a restaurant.  She ignores all his questions about why she didn’t tell Joe TM was his daughter in favor of doing a crossword puzzle.  She also says Martin Short doesn’t understand her actions because he doesn’t have a family.  Ice.  Cold.

In Gates’s office, Gates is giving Ellen the good news that she’s not fired and that she’ll be prosecuting the Tobins alongside him.  When she asks why he reconsidered her, he says, “Your instincts, despite being completely unethical, may be an asset.” Also, Patty made him keep her when she gave him the info on Crazy Sister.  Of course.

Zedeck’s leather-gloved dude makes a withdrawal from Africa charity and reveals he’s an attorney.  And here I thought he was a regular gangster!  The Africa charity guy wants to meet Zedeck in person, and Gangster Attorney says it probably won’t ever happen.

“What do you mean you don’t want to bang some hookers together like old times?”

Gangster Attorney takes the money he just withdrew to Martin Short, who subsequently meets with his dad in an alley and gives him the money.  Dad Martin Short gets excited about all the money, and Martin Short has to remind him that “the Tobins are not a mark.”  Then Dad Martin Short suggests they get some hookers together.  GROOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!  Martin Short declines as if he’s totally above getting a hooker.

That scene that had previously been a flashforward with Tom tendering his resignation happens for real.

At Patty’s house, Patty grills Ellen about lying for Tom.  Patty’s pretty down in the dumps about it (you can tell because they’re not cuddled up on a couch together, and they’re not in each other’s frames at all), and this exchange happens:

PH:  You felt it was ok not to mention that to me.
EP:  He needed my loyalty more than you did.

“Thanks for the pep talk, Ellen. Now Ima tear this sh*t up!”

Ellen goes on to say that she took the job with the DA so she could make her own decisions, and Patty says she admires that.  They move on to talk about Tom’s resigning for the case, but Ellen reminds her they don’t have one without TM.  Patty seems even more depressed until Ellen gives her a pep talk, and Patty decides the best way to ream the Tobins is to tear the family apart.  Tish says, “Duh.  Why didn’t you do that from the beginning?”

“Oh, hi! Knocked up any middle-aged ladies lately?”

At Patty’s office, Great outfit!!!!!!!!!!!  Michael shows up to tell her that the chromosomal tests came back clean, so the baby’s fine.  Also the baby is definitely Michael’s, according to the tests.  My roommate and I decide Patty’s grandma name should be Granny Hewes.  Tish sings:  Granny, tell me ‘bout the good ole lawyer days.

I hate to be cynical, but I think Appalachia Reporter is using you, girl. I suggest you stop flirting with him and save yourself some heartache.

Martin Short has to bail Dad Martin Short out of jail.  A lady cop watches amusedly.  Turns out Amused Lady Cop is a girlfriend of Appalachia Reporter, and she gives him this information outside the station.

Tom holds a press conference to announce what happened, how Patty didn’t know, etc.  He also announces his departure from Hewes and Shayes.

You know Patty means business when she’s wearing her sunglasses.

Patty (wearing a royal shade of purple) meets Cougar Hippie on a park bench.  Cougar Hippie has decided to take the money, but she ups the amount to $500,000.  She acts so cagey during this scene.  Don’t trust her, Patty!

Appalachia Reporter meets with Ellen in a coffee shop to tell her the info on Martin Short and his dad and how Martin Short is not really “Leonard Winstone.”  He concludes with a lascivious, “I told you we could help each other out.”  Tish corrects him, “Hump each other out?”

Ellen. Is your blouse actually a silk bib?  Awful.  You need to take some wearing pink lessons from Patty.  Stat.

I wanted this mug shot to be from Three Amigos so bad.

Ellen and Patty look over the info on Martin Short.  They’re not back on the same couch, but they’re sitting like three inches apart on perpendicular sides of Patty’s conference table.  Martin Short’s dad has a record in 7 states, and one of his associates had been one Lester Wiggins, whose mug shot looks suspiciously like Martin Short.  The real Leonard Winstone, as it turns out, died in car crash after graduating from law school.

Tom researches used Hondas using Bing.  He picks one out with a Statue of Liberty bobblehead.

1 week later, this Honda red herringly runs into Patty.  I just don’t believe it.

Julian Decker pets the horse in its outdoor pen and asks, “You okay there, Patricia?”  Patty wakes up aghast on her couch.

Joe vents his feelings about being the head of the Tobin family in an AA meeting.  He closes by saying, “My family needs me to take charge, step in, make some tough decisions.”

“You’re kicking me out? Am I on Candid Camera?”

Tom and Mrs. Tom share a tense taking-the-groceries-inside scene, in which Mrs. Tom is so pissed he quit his job, and he says he’ll take care of things and that they need to sell more stuff.  I’m getting the feeling Tom is fake resigned, but Mrs. Tom is SO pissed.  Tom announces that he put the townhouse on the market, and Mrs. Tom is even pisseder.  Tom gets all up in her face to reiterate that he’ll take care of things, at which point she kicks him out of their house.

Ellen goes to see Joe with the truth about Martin Short.

Tom’s talking to Martin Short on the phone.  Tom wants to see him.

Patty sees a mounted officer and pukes.  Suddenly it’s Julian Decker asking her if she needs a doctor, telling her she shouldn’t be out alone.  She runs off.

Ellen and Tom talk dejectedly at a diner.  Ellen suggests he ask Patty for money like Mrs. Tom wants.  She also invites him to stay with her.  He declines both out of pride.  He, teary-eyed, says, “Working for Patty has been the greatest thing I’ve had in my life, but it looks like it might cost me my family.”

“I’m Joe Tobin, and I’m up in everybody’s grill this episode.”

Joe and Martin Short talk on the phone, and Joe wants to sign a lease on a new apartment.  He instructs Martin Short to bring the deliver-to-Patty-Hewes envelope.  They meet at this apartment where Joe brings out the old mug shot.  He starts in on Martin Short:  “Everything you ever told my family is complete bullshit.”  Martin Short counters, “You didn’t know your father the way I did.”  And so, Joe kicks Martin Short out of the family.


Actor Frobisher meets with Patty to ask her about the weird hooker encounter with Frobisher.  He suspects Frobisher of “trying to impress [him].”  He runs the Beardy thing past Patty:  “What’s the Frobisher character capable of?  How desperate is this guy?”  Patty’s laughing so much and doing that charmingly fake Patty smile and says Frobisher’s not a killer.  I do not believe her when she says, “It just isn’t true.”

Tom meets face-to-face with Martin Short.  Martin Short says they can help each other out.  He wants immunity from prosecution, but he’ll give all the info they need and money, to boot.   His reason:  “Joe Tobin is dangerous.”  Martin Short also gives Tom an apartment.

The Bank Charity Guy’s secretary announces that Zedeck has come in to see him, but it’s really Martin Short’s dad, who has a passport saying he’s Zedeck.  He takes out some money, and Bank Charity Guy is so excited to meet him.

Cougar Hippie reveals that she bought a Jaguar for Michael and has made a down payment on an apartment.  This is unsurprising, but Patty’s gonna be so pissed!!!!!!!!!

You are breakin’ my heart with this sad face, Ellen.

Patty tells Gates about Actor Frobisher and Beardy.  She wants to prosecute for David’s murder.  Ellen finally (FINALLY) figures out Wes was Beardy’s former partner.  Alone in the hall, she leaves Wes a voicemail that she needs to talk to him.

Martin Short brings the first installment of money to Tom.  Tom says he can get him immunity.

Cut to the money bag.  Pan up to Patty standing over it.  Ellen tells her about Tom’s plan.  He’s the one who leaked his money thing to the judge so he could make a deal with Martin Short.  Ellen says, “If it failed, he wanted to take the fall alone.”

My favorite duo! Together again! Even though Hobo’s being a red herring right now. There’s no way he killed Tom.

Some ominous boots come into where Tom’s asleep on the floor of his apartment.  It’s Hobo.  He’s all worried and asks, “What were you doing meeting with the guy from Thanksgiving?”  Tom shrugs it off and tells him to stay.

Cut back to Patty and Ellen.  Ellen insists, “Tom’s gonna win us this case.”  Patty looks skeptical.

Title card announces SO DRAMATICALLY 3 days later, and then a barrage of images:

  • Tom strangled on floor
  • Patty covered in blood
  • Someone behind Ellen cocking a gun
  • Tom vigorously using a hatchet?
  • Some standing-up strangling
  • Somebody (Tom?) falling(being pushed?) off a bridge


  • How many days later, Patty?  THREE DAYS.
  • Tish’s take on it:  I know Patty planned it all because she was pissed that Tom was working behind her back and then she got her own car run into so that she wouldn’t be a suspect and Ellen’s purse is in the car so that she can take Ellen down because she loves taking Ellen down.  Like tackling her.  WITH LAW!
  • I don’t even know.  Maybe Tish is right.

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