Damages 3.6 Recap: When Patty Explores Alternate Career Options, and Tom Straight Up Punches a Dude

6 Feb

Episode 6:  “Don’t Forget to Thank Mr. Zedeck”

Previously on: Julian Decker–that Patty stalker.  Oh no!  Is he secretly this Zedeck character?

Not to be confused with Baldie, Patty's replacement Uncle Pete

Bald Financial Analyst Lawyer’s trying to tell Tom and Mrs. Tom what to do, including but not limited to cutting costs (such as having a beach house) and  “tell[ing] Patty sooner or later.”

4 months later, the cops discuss Tom’s T.O.D., which is earlier than previously thought.  He had time to run Patty down before he died.  Bum bum bum!!!!!

Patty and Tom and the judge who appointed Patty the trustee of the Tobin estate meet.  He’s all up in their grill about how they haven’t really done anything with the case yet.

It's got a pocket and everything!

In DA land they’re chasing the potassium levels in Dad Tobin and DMM’s respective bloodstreams which is not unusual for heart attacks but also may indicate some kind of poisoning that I don’t remember the name of.  For some reason, Ellen is wearing a man’s shirt during this scene.  This looks like something my mom would’ve worn in the ’90s.  All she needs is a jean jacket with puffy shoulders, and she’s all set.

Never mess with a Sicilian when death is on the line, and never mess with Patty Hewes ever.

The judge has told Patty to step it up, so step it up she shall.  She goes to prison to talk to Vizzini, a guy whom she helped sue/put behind bars when he did some ponzi-scheme-hiding-money financial wizardry a while back.  She wants info.  And he wants something in return.  Bum bum bum!!!!

Patty’s changed out of the mother-of-the-bride get up she’d worn to the prison and is now sporting a cardigan.  I mention this because she looks great but more casual than usual, and it’s throwing me off.  Maybe that’s her plan.  Because now she’s brought Alex Benjamin in…

TO PIMP HER OUT TO VIZZINI!!!!!!

What?!

Patty, killing dogs is one thing.  Trading nubile lawyer flesh for information?!  Ok, it’s basically the same thing.

"I may look sweet and subdued in this cardigan, but I'm a diva, which is a female version of a hustler, which is a more business-like way of saying pimp."

Meanwhile, Joe has started his Zedeck scavenger hunt for them to gain respect for each other and for Joe to start getting some Gs.  (I think I’m stuck in pimp Patty mode.  Whoops.)  The scavenger hunt begins with him riding the subway to the very last stop which contains a lot of jump scares when he sees shady-looking people.  He finally meets Zedeck (who is not Julian Decker), and he has to do more of a scavenger hunt to get some “assurance.”  K.

Ellen and the DA guys boringly discuss potassium, etc.

Tom has agreed to go to this take-your-parent-to-school day to talk about being a lawyer.  At his daughter’s school, he sees the guy who invested all his money badly.  He tries to be cool, but hate continues to billow off him because this dude keeps texting people while other parents are talking and keeps bragging about his private jet.

In prison, Alex Benjamin has arrived for her conjugal visit.  She embarrassedly starts to unzip her boots as Vizzini leers at her.  I feel sorry for her, yet I’m exhilarated that Patty is back to doing really evil stuff.

At Patty’s office, Patty’s meeting with Ellen and the DA guys about how everyone might’ve been poisoned.  Patty is totally not impressed with these guys and wants to talk to Ellen alone about 1) how stupid they are and 2) Alex Benjamin.

Evil!Patty is the funnest Patty!  You can tell she doesn’t give even one half of a rip about Alex Benjamin, but she wants to throw her in Ellen’s face!  This exchange happens:

PH:  What do you think of Alex Benjamin?
EP:  I think she’s smart.  And ambitious.  And a good fit for the job.
PH:  I’m glad you like her.
EP:  I never said I liked her.

Oooh!  Dis!  Ellen says it with such thrillingly Patty-learned coldness!  And Patty loves it!!!!

Back at Tom’s daughter’s school, Tom gives a really awkward speech, directed straight at his old stocks-trader guy about how much he loves rules (which is weird because he loves Patty Hewes, too).

"Wow. I feel dirty. But I still want this job."

Alex Benjamin returns to Hewes and Shayes to announce she’s finished her end of the bargain, but the receptionist won’t let her in to see Patty because Patty does not want to see her.

COLDEST!!!!!  Oh man, Patty.

Ellen boringly discusses poison again with the DA guys.

Joe follows his scavenger hunt clues to a surreal dry cleaning place, where he picks up a large box.

Patty gets her info from Vizzini–the money’s probably in Antigua, and only citizens of Antigua can have Antiguan bank accounts.  It seems as if Patty could’ve gotten this info from wikipedia without pimping out any aspiring attorneys.  But what’s the fun in that?

That evening, Patty has Julian Decker over to her house.  He’s an architect/interior designer, and he’s been wanting to redo her apartment for a long time (because it’s an old building with a lot of character behind the walls or some interior designer BS), which is why he’d been following Patty around.  Does this mean he’s not hot for Patty and he’s not part of any cases?  I don’t buy it.  He’s still so creepy.

Martin Short and Joe talk about what was in the box–a fur coat for Lily Tomlin.  Joe doesn’t like this assurance.  He wants cash.

Tom and his father-in-law discuss the latter’s health problems that necessitate lots of money.  Tom is sad.

Is it just me, or is season 3 Tom sexier than seasons 1-2 Tom?

4 months later, Ellen comes into Tom’s crappy apartment.  He shows her a bag of money.  Ellen asks about Patty, and Tom says he’ll take care of Patty.  Cut to Patty’s car getting smashed into!  Bum bum bum!!!!!

4 months previous, Ellen and the DA guys all meet with Dr. Uncle Pete to question him about Dad Tobin and DMM’s deaths.  He’s not at all concerned when they talk about Dad Tobin’s elevated levels of potassium, but when they say DMM had the same thing, he gets flustered.  He didn’t know!!!! (Or he’s a good actor, I guess.)  Ellen looks as though she might be having an idea while the other two do not because, as Patty mentioned previously, they’ve never watched Damages, so they don’t know how lawyers are supposed to connive.

"I hate you, Alex Benjamin."

Back in prison, we see Alex Benjamin with Vizzini, and she’s just as embarrassed as ever slowly unzipping her boot, but then it’s revealed that she just gave him some caviar–and that’s not a euphemism.

And then it’s revealed that she’s been telling this as a flashback to Ellen.  They’re in a bar together again, and Alex wants Ellen’s opinion about whether she’ll get the job.  Ellen looks at Alex as if she’s the stupidest person in the universe, which she might be.

In approximately 5 seconds, Tom's going to punch you. No one blames him as you are a huge d-bag.

Back at Tom’s daughter’s school, Tom’s in a hallway with his old financial planner guy, and they argue about right and wrong and all that.  And then Tom punches him!

Alex Benjamin calls Ellen to tell her the good news:  She got the job!  Alex is so happy about it.  Ellen’s face shows conflicting emotions:

"I hate you, Alex Benjamin."

Zedeck and Joe (in Joe’s motel room?) ominously talk about reassurance and respect and old vs. new ways and why Joe didn’t respect the fur coat gift.

Tom, still a little bloodied and wired from his fight, has tracked down DMM’s daughter, who is a flight attendant for a private airline and probably has something to do with the money transferring/laundering/hiding.  The revelation came to him while he was fighting with his financial planner guy who couldn’t stop talking about private jets.  I guess that guy was good for something.

4 months later, the cops poke around and find Tom’s bag of money in the trunk.

4 months previous, Tom tells Bald Financial Analyst Lawyer he won’t be there Monday.  Because he’s a total badass now and is going to Antigua.

Notes:

  • This Joe scavenger hunt held my attention just fine, and it was even kind of funny, but I’m not sure what the point of it was…?  Also, I missed Martin Short.
  • Tom did not drive his car into Patty!  You are red-herring-ing me right now, Damages!  But what if he did?!  Maybe Patty found out about this money—that he probably got from the Tobins—and she put a hit out on him and he found out and decided to head her off at the pass.
  • Or maybe not.  One of the times Tom was fake fired, there was a really dramatic flashforward in which he’s trying to warn Patty a lot, but Baldie won’t let him in to see her, but then nothing ever really came of that.  So maybe there are some pieces here that seem really ominous now but won’t actually be that significant later.
  • Showing more Tom home life in this episode—somehow Tom’s home life doesn’t bore me as much as Ellen’s or Patty’s.  Maybe because he’s a decent guy, and I care about how he compartmentalizes.  Maybe his family has somewhat forced him into this high-pressure job that maybe he’s not that well-suited for because of their need of the best stuff.  On the other hand, maybe he’s attracted to Hewes and Associates because Patty takes care of things.  At home, he has to take care of everything, and all the bad decisions are his bad decisions.  Hmm…
  • This Alex Benjamin storyline!!!!!!!!!  Best part of this episode, hands down.  I am alternately relieved and disappointed that Patty didn’t actually pimp her out.  I mean, I really hated Patty for a few minutes, thinking she was whoring a girl out just to get back at Ellen.  Then again, would Season 1 Patty have stopped at caviar? 
  • Also, Ellen’s reactions to all this.  She may very well be worried about somebody else falling under Patty’s spell, but she’s also super jealous.  Look at that picture of her!  Also, she’s already sending Patty birthday presents, so I suspect a reconciliation soon.
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