Damages 3.3 Recap: When Ellen Visits Her Lame Family and Realizes How Much She Misses Patty

2 Jan

Patty Hewes–looking totally badass in the best outfit of the season so far–faces off against Martin Short

Episode 3: “Flight’s at 11:08”

Previously on: Ellen’s sister’s wedding. Hm… I wonder what’s going to be up with the Parsons…

Joe’s dragging DMM’s body inside her house. What’s his plan? What does he think he can make that look like? Oh, he thinks nobody’ll notice for a while because she’s supposed to be out of the country.

This show is such a round-robin writing escapade. I wish I wrote for this show. Remember last season when Ellen and Tom had to go deep into Appalachia for some reason? Was the entirety of season two a red herring? Just a thought. Back to the show…

“Do NOT interrupt me. I’m thinking. So hard.”

Tom and Patty are talking about DMM and whether they’re going to be able to stop her from leaving the country. Tom knows they don’t have the authority to keep her anywhere. Patty says, “Just find her. I’ll worry about the rest.”

Lily Tomlin has set Martin Short up on a date with a hairdresser. She seems nice, but he’s acting cagey and weird because he just talked to some British lady on the phone about flying DMM out.

Ellen’s packing her Patty purse and talking to one of the nondescript ADA guys about having dinner with her fam–sister’s in town but the husband isn’t because he had to work.

Martin Short’s date gets interrupted by a call from Joe!

Ellen and Patty run into each other on the sidewalk outside the DA’s office. Patty’s heading over to see if she can get the DA to stop DMM from leaving the country, and she tries to persuade Ellen to stay and join in the DMM fun. They do a lot of awkward staring and fake smiling at each other, and when Ellen declines with finality, Patty says, “Ah yes. Family. Your top priority.” Ellen looks rightfully pissy.

For the sake of parallelism, Tom pauses investigating DMM to talk on the phone with his wife, telling her he will be late to their family supper (in which he will tell everyone he told them to invest in a bad company–whoopsy daisies.).

Oh, DMM is awake (not dead!), but she looks like she feels like dog shit. Joe claims, “I called for help, so don’t worry.” No you did not either, Joe. You called Martin Short, and he ain’t no doctor. Her spleen could be rupturing! Wait, what side’s the spleen on?

Martin Short shows up. They still want to get her out of the country, even though she could have a ruptured spleen (Dr. Alexandra’s Diagnosis Machine, at your service!).

Meanwhile at the DA’s office: Patty! What are you up to?! Creepin’ around Ellen’s desk, touching all her stuff! Why are you such a weirdo this season?

The DA guy, Curtis Gates, interrupts Patty (from being a total creep), and they discuss DMM. She thinks DMM is involved in the fraud. Me too, Patty. But Gates can’t subpoena her or hold her or anything because they don’t have any evidence. Gates says, “There are rules. I know you’re not used to that.” I love you, Curtis Gates. I wish Ellen would—wait, I do not wish Ellen would go out with you. She’s too lame for you.

Out in Jersey, Ellen’s having family time. She told her family about Wes? Wasn’t he kind of a secret guy friend? Or am I just thinking that because the audience knew the whole time that he was supposed to be getting close to her in order to kill her? Also, brother-in-law isn’t actually working. He’s doing some bowling league thing. This is all sounding very suspicious. Did Ellen’s sister secretly kill her husband? Is she on the lam?!

Tom and Patty talk on the phone. He’s tracking DMM down to her bungalow. Patty’s upset with Gates’s following the rules and says, “Unless we find her first, Danielle Marchetti is free to leave the country.” Unless she’s run over by a car, that is! Zing!

Joe introduces DMM and Martin Short as if they don’t know each other very well. That’s too many looks. I know you two know each other better than that. I don’t think she’s a mistress at all. I think she’s a secret daughter.

Here’s Tom to investigate. Don’t they have investigators at Hewes and Shayes? I guess that wouldn’t be as fun to watch.

Total CSI Tom. He spotted that broken tail light right away. Joe and DMM and Martin Short are hiding, but Tom is still suspicious. An old dude walks up and wonders if he can help Tom. He says a bunch of neighborly stuff. Tom is satisfied for now.

Oh no! Tom didn’t lock his car! Check your back seat!

That old dude heads in to DMM’s house. Is this old dude the Uncle Pete of the Tobins!? Totally is! (Except he’s a doctor instead of a low-level hood.)

Patty Hewes is talking to some bald dude. I think this bald dude has a crush on Patty. He’s giving her the eye big time. She needs him to help her find DMM and some other secret, shady Patty Hewes stuff we don’t get to know about right now.

DMM’s eavesdropping on the doctor’s prognosis. She’s going to fake more concussion stuff so she doesn’t have to go, isn’t she? But why? Wouldn’t she want to get out of the country and not have to talk to Patty/the DA?

Patty calls Martin Short. She says she knows about DMM, and he denies knowing her at all. She says, “I’m waiting for you in my office.” If he doesn’t show, she’ll send everything she has to the press, she claims.

DMM’s on the phone with someone she needs to talk to again. Maybe it’s the ADA guy who interviewed her.

Yes, he’s got a missed call. I’m so good.

I’d hate to see Ellen looking sadder than usual.

Back at Patty’s office, Martin Short has arrived, and Patty’s put together a press release about DMM. Martin Short denies everything and tells her she doesn’t want to do this. You didn’t believe any of that “I’ve never even heard of Danielle Marchetti” bs, did you Patty?

Even though DMM has been exhibiting all the signs of a severe concussion that Doctor Uncle Pete just lined out three scenes ago, Joe tells DMM, “You’re good to go” and prepares to take her to the airport.

And Ellen’s family listens to doo-wop. Dad Parsons says, “You seem happier than usual.” Perhaps because she got out of her sadistic Patty relationship? Then, she walks in on her mom and sister secretly being sad together. They all exchange awkward glances.

Joe and DMM are having a heart-to-heart. DMM claims, “I never meant to hurt you.”  Sufficiently ambiguous. Bated breath here. There it is!  Joe asks, “Was it when you were still with me?”

Boom! Dad and Joe are sharing a mistress! I guess there goes the secret daughter theory.

Or does it!?

Yuck! I wish I hadn’t thought of that. However, Damages could do worse than a little Chinatown situation.

I thought maybe DMM would fake some symptoms so she wouldn’t have to leave, but her nose is bleeding. That’s not really something you can fake, is it?

Pictured: Detective work!

Tom’s finally made it to his family dinner when he realizes there were people at DMM’s house because a water glass was still condensating. He calls Patty with the revelation and the license plate number.

The Parsons girls are up in their old room talking about Sister’s separation from her husband (duh) and Sister’s need for money (duh) and listening to a song that sounds like the Indigo Girls covering “That One Night.”

Joe and DMM are in the car on the way to the airport, and DMM is acting hella concussed. I still can’t tell if she’s faking it or not.

Tom discreetly breaks the financial meltdown news to his in-laws.

Ellen and Sister are having another talk, and Ellen’s being a mother hen a lot, with a grimace on her face. Didn’t Patty talk about this before? Some foreshadowing in the first episode about how Ellen will eventually hate her sister/family for being lame and un-fancy?

And now, because of information supplied by Tom, a cop pulls Joe over for his broken tail light, and the cop takes them to the hospital.

And now Patty has met Martin Short at the airport. He tries to play it cool as Patty’s up in his grill, and he says, “Gee, that all sounds terrific, but I don’t know what you’re talking aobut.” Oh Martin Short. You ain’t foolin’ nobody about your vacation to the Bahamas.

Turns out, Patty had Bald Dude (Oh bald dude was in last season for a minute after Uncle Pete died. I vaguely remember him maybe.) follow Martin Short from her office to DMM’s to the airport, so she now knows he’s totally complicit in anything the Tobins are up to. And she stopped DMM from leaving the country. Lol! Love you, Patty.

Ellen stands up to Dad Parsons for her sister and decides to stay the night. Sister sends her upstairs to find a t-shirt and stuff to sleep in. What’s Ellen gonna find secretly stashed in her sister’s bag?

Crack or some other pipe drug?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ellen’s sister, I do not have time for this super dramatic subplot!

And now the Parsons are watching old family videos together, and Ellen looks forlorn/conflicted, and something comes over the soundtrack that is definitely a cover of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by someone who sounds like Alanis Morisette. Um… What?

Now Ellen slips off to call someone. That someone is Patty. Your relationship with Patty is twisted, sister.

They should’ve skipped that “We’re Not Gonna Take It” cover in favor of a cover of this instead.

Notes:

  • We didn’t have a flashback (flashforward?) this episode. How are we gonna know who killed Tom? Or if Tom is really dead, not just fake dead because Patty is up to something? JK, he’s dead for real, probably. But how did he get that way? And why are they trying to red-herring us into believing Tom and Ellen were banging?
  • Seeing each other on sidewalk: Patty looks pleased; Ellen looks guarded. Patty’s up to something, and we and Ellen know it. None of us know what yet. Does it have to do with Tom’s eventual death?
  • So all it takes to get Ellen back is finding out her sister’s a drug addict—wait a minute! What if Patty planted that?! How ridiculous would that be?!
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