Episode 5: The Doctor
The OUaT Spice Girls! Saving the Kingdom with Girl Power! Pictured L-R: Baby, Sporty, Posh, Ginger. Not Pictured: Scary (cuz she’s back in ME trying to reform)
Present-Day Fairy Tale Land: The OUaT Spice Girls (-Scary, of course) are trekking around, and they find errbody dead at their camp site. Hearts are ripped out, so it wasn’t ogres. Oh no, it was Cora! Hook is there still alive, pretending not to be Hook. Cora Plant!
Back in ME, Charming punches Dr. Whale for sleeping with his wife. K. Why not just punch him because he’s a d-bag? Meanwhile, Dr. Whale is asking a helluva lot of questions about how to get back to fairy tale land.
Elsewhere in ME, Regina goes to Jiminy Cricket for magic rehab. She’s teary-eyed talking about her magic addiction, and I’ve missed her so. Jiminy Cricket comments that it’s harder to stop magic than to start it. Ain’t that the truth!
Whale waltzes into Regina’s private counseling session (doesn’t this doctor know anything about HIPAA?) wanting Regina to send him back to his land to see his dead brother. Bum bum bum!
They get rid of Whale, and Jiminy Cricket questions Regina about how she claims she can’t send anybody back anywhere. He doesn’t believe her, but she says she doesn’t have a lot of control over that. She also says this pouty thing that I loled about:
I don’t care about Whale or his brother. I brought who I wanted.
Duke Mantee over at Spoilers did one of these as part of a blogathon, so I decided I wanted to do one, too. I guess the blogathon is put on by this person.
A: At Long Last Love
Forcing the driver to drink champagne. Good idea, errbody.
Oft-maligned tribute to ’30s musicals. I happen to really like this movie for the silliness it is, probably spurred on by my irrational devotion to Cybill Shepherd (not to mention Madeline Kahn, Eileen Brennan, Burt Reynolds, and Cole Porter, but one need not be irrational to be devoted to those).
B: Bad Seed, the
Look at them crazy eyes! Also, I love the mom’s blouse.
I saw this for the first time in a hotel room with my mom when I was in 6th grade. I was pretty sure it was the creepiest. I saw it again recently and realized it’s a pretty smart, sharp movie.
Watch out, Warren William. That’s Cleopatra–comin’ atcha!
Claudette Colbert, you crazy and fabulous, gurl. I love you in pre-codes and in weepy wartime numbers equally, but this movie is so decadently and art-deco-ly delicious.
Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “who played commander janeway in battlestar galactica”:
I wonder if this crossover is intentional. If not, your brain accidentally made something up that my brain only wishes it had come up with.
So say we all,
Dear Googlers Who Found My Blog Using the Search Terms “lady macbeth i started late and forgot the dog”:
You’re right! I should write more about Lady Macbeth!
Unsex me here,
Episode 1: Broken
We open with a character we don’t know or care about who goes about his hipster business in modern-day New York. A post card from Storybrooke, ME, appears in his window with one word scrawled on the back: Broken.
You guys are going to be SO SURPRISED about who this is.
We next go to some more characters we don’t know or care about in Fairy Tale Land: A prince or something cuts through some brier to get to a sleeping beauty, whom he wakes with a kiss–although the ensuing magical wave does not compare to the one that rolled off Snow White when Charming revived her. Following on his heels is an Asian warrior with a face covering so that we don’t know it’s Mulan yet, but we all have seen the Internet, so we all know it’s Mulan.
Back in ME, a drawn-out reunion scene occurs among the townspeople as they all realize how they’re related and love each other, etc. This goes on for what seems like a long time, with Prince Charming and Snow White embracing a lot and embracing Emma and embracing Henry. Then they get to the inevitable discussion: What to do with The Evil Queen. A bunch of townspeople want to kill her (can’t blame them). They debate this for a while; then Henry doesn’t want that to happen because “she’s still my mom.” What he means by this, of course, is that she’s still the best character in the show, and nobody would watch it if they killed her off. Charming gives the best reason to stop the townspeople from storming her door (other than her being the best character): She might use magic to kill everybody.
As I’ve noted previously, I often devour TV shows. My latest has been Once Upon a Time so I can watch season 2 as it comes out. I thought I might do some recaps of it, just for kicks.
First, let’s talk about how I (and all the girls I watch it with) call this show Xena Damages.
Because this show is all about badass ladies doing badass things in a badass, fantastical world filled with magic, overacting, and oddly poor CGI (à la Xena), but it is also about non-linear storytelling and an HBIC who wears delicious skirt suits, ruthlessly orchestrates people’s destructions, and rips people’s hearts out (à la Damages).
I’m always creepin’ ’round teh internetz looking for blogathons to join because, say it with me now, my blog is super lame. Well, I was looking the other day, and came across one that seemed kind of promising, but then I couldn’t think of anything to write about because I was only half interested in the subject; however, it did lead me to a link to a different blogathon that held a tad more interest for me. I started researching a little and realized I COULD POTENTIALLY WRITE ABOUT CLASSIC MOVIES AND/OR CAPTAIN JANEWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, without further ado, below looms my entry for Angela and her HollywoodRevue’s Paramount Centennial Blogathon.
Here’s my train of thought (disclaimer: history filtered through my brain):
Movie studios faced some tough times during the Depression. They had all this sound they didn’t exactly know what to do with yet. They had all these actors who were kinda broad and weird from silent movies. They didn’t have a strict production code to keep them from a million extraneous scenes of Marlene Dietrich swimming naked in ponds or Barbara Stanwyck taking off her stockings. And they were having trouble getting an audience because everybody was super poor.
So, in the early ’30s, Paramount looked to Broadway, found a gal with a hit show, and gave her a movie deal. That movie? She Done Him Wrong. That gal? Mae West.
Subsequently, Paramount’s financial troubles lessened.
Fast forward 60 years.