Tag Archives: Ellen Lamest Ever Parsons

Damages Season 3 Recap (All Spoilers, All the Time)

16 Mar

Oh hey, Season 3.  Haven’t thought about you in a while.  And I want to start season 4 now, so…

Best outfit all season

The format of my synopses has changed. The fabulosity of Patty’s clothes has absolutely not changed.

Flashforward Mystery #1:  Patty is driving.  Some other car runs into her!  Whodunnit?

Flashforward Mystery #2:  Mysterious Hobo hangs around a dumpster.  Tom’s murdered body is found in the same dumpster!  Whodunnit?

Main Plot Line:  Patty is the court-appointed trustee of the Tobin estate.  The Tobins are big business people involved in some kind of Ponzi scheme thing, as per usual.  She must figure out how and where and when all their money went wherever it did.

Joe Tobin, alcoholic oldest son, becomes Patty’s go-to dude for a minute, but mostly to establish him as a down-to-earth character at first.  He wants to make sure he looks as if he did everything he could to help the investigation (which also includes the DA’s office, where Ellen works now).

Joe gives Patty a cell phone number, and Hobo is in possession of the cell phone.  Tom investigates and finds clothes in the dumpster belonging to a DMM.  He investigates more.  Everyone is red-herringed into believing DMM–a lady who looks SO MUCH like Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds–was having an affair with Dad Tobin (the CEO of the Tobin company), and Tom decides to investigate this angle because why not.

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Once Upon a Time Season 1 Recap (All Spoilers, All the Time)

10 Oct

As I’ve noted previously, I often devour TV shows.  My latest has been Once Upon a Time so I can watch season 2 as it comes out.  I thought I might do some recaps of it, just for kicks.

First, let’s talk about how I (and all the girls I watch it with) call this show Xena Damages.

Because this show is all about badass ladies doing badass things in a badass, fantastical world filled with magic, overacting, and oddly poor CGI (à la Xena), but it is also about non-linear storytelling and an HBIC who wears delicious skirt suits, ruthlessly orchestrates people’s destructions, and rips people’s hearts out (à la Damages).

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The Insider Who Is an Outsider

3 Oct

I was thinking the other day about characters in fiction because I was thinking about how when I write fiction I tend to write the same types of characters over and over, and I was thinking about why I might do this–why I’m  not very adventurous and what attracts me to them in the first place.

And I decided that the character who often appears is the insider who is an outsider.

That is to say, a character who knows about the fictional world it inhabits and is privy to vital information in this world but who is emotionally (or physically, sometimes) distanced from it.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized this happens all the time in fiction–not just my own.

For example, Nick from The Great Gatsby is a part of East Egg culture by birth and manners and means and education, but he emotionally connects with Gatsby and is physically distanced from the East Eggers, as well.  He is an insider to the culture he’s narrating about, but he is also, because of his sympathy for Gatsby and his current location, an outsider.

“I volunteer to be your narrator!”

For another example, Katniss from The Hunger Games knows about this Hunger Game world and participates in it, but she is an outsider for a couple reasons.  One, she’s from the least glamorous district, which distances her from the dominant culture of The Capitol and the other districts that hold The Capitol as their zenith of class.  And two, she is isolated even from the others in her district because she hunts illegally, she’s reclusive and introverted, and she volunteers for the games–something no one in her district has ever done.

But what makes the insider/outsider so attractive?  This character instantly gains the audience’s trust because we’re taken into his or her confidence.  We, the readers, are outsiders to the constructed world and need a guide.  We want an effective, reliable narrator to show us the ropes.  We get just this from Nick and Katniss–someone who can tell us the ins and outs, whom we can trust because they, too, are disenfranchised in some way.  They know the goods and the bads, and they have their own biases, but we trust them.

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Damages 3.8 Recap: When Frobisher Returns, and We All Groan Because He Is Ridiculous and Not That Interesting

9 Feb

Episode 8:  “I Look Like Frankenstein”

Previously on:  Frobisher!?!?!?  Ugh!!!!!

Flashforward:  Ok, that thing that I thought might’ve been one of those bookends that killed Ellen’s fiancé is not a bookend; it’s a bobble head on Tom’s dash.  We see from the driver’s perspective (so we still don’t know who ran Patty down).  We’ve got driving gloves and heavy breathing.

At the station, Magician Cop is talking to Ellen and writing stuff down with this pen that I also own—except mine has a pink shaft.  He tells Ellen that Patty has been in a car wreck.  Ellen’s asking a lot of questions about what happened.  She seems rather emotional but in a reserved, cagey Ellen way.  I can’t tell whether she knows more than she’s letting on. Then Magician Cop says, “You’re good at puzzles, right?”  and proceeds to tear up a piece of paper into “puzzle pieces.”  How’s this paper going to help anything?  Maybe creepy-ass Magician Cop killed Tom.  What a weirdo.

Check out those stairs! Is this the same set as Patty’s house, or do Patty and Frobisher live in the same building? (They also have the same patio doors!)  PS, the guy in the background with the full beard is Actor, and that woman in the foreground is not integral to the plot whatsoever, but I love her because of this awesome face I accidentally captured her making.

3 months earlier, Frobisher’s having a fundraiser-type rich-people party in what looks like Patty’s house (but of course is not.  Frobisher and Patty always have the same taste in living arrangements—modern wood-and-glass fancy stuff).  He’s starting some green energy wind initiative or something ridiculous and says as part of his speech, “What is the point of doing anything unless you’re doing good?”  He talks about a movie star who supports his cause and has come to his party.

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Damages 3.6 Recap: When Patty Explores Alternate Career Options, and Tom Straight Up Punches a Dude

6 Feb

Episode 6:  “Don’t Forget to Thank Mr. Zedeck”

Previously on: Julian Decker–that Patty stalker.  Oh no!  Is he secretly this Zedeck character?

Not to be confused with Baldie, Patty's replacement Uncle Pete

Bald Financial Analyst Lawyer’s trying to tell Tom and Mrs. Tom what to do, including but not limited to cutting costs (such as having a beach house) and  “tell[ing] Patty sooner or later.”

4 months later, the cops discuss Tom’s T.O.D., which is earlier than previously thought.  He had time to run Patty down before he died.  Bum bum bum!!!!!

Patty and Tom and the judge who appointed Patty the trustee of the Tobin estate meet.  He’s all up in their grill about how they haven’t really done anything with the case yet.

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Damages 3.5 Recap: When It’s Not Patty’s Birthday, and Ellen Doesn’t Bake Cupcakes for Patty’s Nonbirthday and also Doesn’t Care about the New Associate Patty’s Not Hiring Just to Not Get under Ellen’s Skin

4 Feb

Episode 5:  “It’s Not My Birthday”Previously on:  That reporter from Appalachia?

Patty’s running late and talking on the phone.  She’s back in better clothes—those big collars on her shirts and all.  But why black?  I want that checked gray blazer back!

Patty turns a corner to see the ghost of Uncle Pete!

Wait.  Dream Pete?  He’s there for her birthday and has brought a present.  “It’s not my birthday,” says Patty.  Patty turns and there’s a horse in her house!

Damages 3.4 Recap: When the Tobin Case Is Super Ominous and Interesting Because Somebody’s Following Joe, and Martin Short Is Creepy

31 Jan

Episode 4: “Don’t Throw That at the Chicken”

Previously On: Cougar Hippie (Michael’s new mom girlfriend). Michael’s back, and you’re gonna be in trouble!  Hey nah! Hey nah! Michael’s back!

DMM’s in the hospital, but she won’t be able to talk for a while because she was, indeed, very concussed.

Patty’s unconcerned about the concussion:  She wants to know if Gates can delay sentencing on Dad Tobin for long enough to talk to DMM—or something.

Five months later, Magician Cop and Large Cop have discovered that Tom drowned and was subsequently dragged into the dumpster.  Magician Cop lectures Large Cop about “handl[ing] these things more delicately.”  (And later does the exact opposite.)  Whatever Magician Cop.  Go bother Catherine Willows.

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Patty and Ellen’s Bad Romance

2 Jan

And now a short essay entitled “Patty and Ellen’s Bad Romance”
To Follow Episode 3.3

Patty and Ellen are a complicated pair and all that, and I guess I don’t understand what it would be like to be on either side of a botched contract hit, but they are just so twisted!

What is Patty up to with this whole Ellen obsession? Let’s psychoanalyze: She had an ambiguously bad childhood, then she had that mysteriously dead baby daughter, then she hired Ellen because she thought she could use her as a pawn, then she decided she liked her and that she was like a young Patty, then she tried to have her killed, then she was sad about trying to have her killed, then she knew the whole time that Ellen was spying on her, then Ellen held her hostage just to forgive her.

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Damages 3.3 Recap: When Ellen Visits Her Lame Family and Realizes How Much She Misses Patty

2 Jan

Patty Hewes–looking totally badass in the best outfit of the season so far–faces off against Martin Short

Episode 3: “Flight’s at 11:08″

Previously on: Ellen’s sister’s wedding. Hm… I wonder what’s going to be up with the Parsons…

Joe’s dragging DMM’s body inside her house. What’s his plan? What does he think he can make that look like? Oh, he thinks nobody’ll notice for a while because she’s supposed to be out of the country.

This show is such a round-robin writing escapade. I wish I wrote for this show. Remember last season when Ellen and Tom had to go deep into Appalachia for some reason? Was the entirety of season two a red herring? Just a thought. Back to the show…

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Damages 3.2 Recap: When Tom Is No Longer Flush with Cash

22 Dec
Episode 2: “The Dog Is Happier without Her”
 

Daddy Tobin and Joe Tobin are again secretly meeting in Martin Short’s office.  Joe feels conflicted about whether he should find the hidden money his dad has promised exists “or [he] could go to Patty Hewes now and clear [his] name.”  He seems to want to do the right thing, yet his dad keeps pressuring him, culminating in this line:

You have to decide:  Your family or Patty Hewes?

This is totally a motif in the show.  David certainly gave almost that verbatim ultimatum (Verbatim Ultimatum!  Awesome band name!) to Ellen.  When that ultimatum was issued way back in season one, Ellen picked Patty.

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